


The Solo Life

by KirryLovesNarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Solo Artist Harry, Solo Artist Niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7833916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirryLovesNarry/pseuds/KirryLovesNarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Direction has finished the promo on their fifth album and are ready to start their hiatus. They’ve agreed that whatever they choose to do in this time is their business and they’re not expected to run it by each other. If someone goes solo, that’s their choice, and no one is allowed to make them feel guilty for it. It’s a pact that all four boys have firmly agreed to stand by for however long the hiatus lasts. </p><p>So that’s why right now Niall is signing his own solo contract without telling any of the lads. He would feel more guilty if Harry hadn’t done the same thing.</p><p>This is posted on my Tumblr KirryLovesNarry as well --- the chapters do NOT line up as I combine them here depending on length</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1: A Narry Hiatus (Part 1 & 2 on Tumblr)

One Direction has finished the promo on their fifth album and are ready to start their hiatus. They’ve all agreed that they want some time apart to try to work on themselves both personally and professionally. They’ve also agreed that whatever they choose to do in this time is their business and they’re not expected to run it by each other. If someone goes solo, that’s their choice, and no one is allowed to make them feel guilty for it. It’s a pact that all four boys have firmly agreed to stand by for however long the hiatus lasts. They haven’t really discussed how they’ll get back together, all they know is they said it would happen at some point and they’re not liars. It may not be for another album or tour, but they’ll be back as a group to fulfill their promises to their fans and each other.

As far as their personal relationships with each other, they knew their interactions would vary on their break.  Liam and Louis would likely write together and Niall and Harry would probably get together to shag whenever they were in the same city. They would all call for birthdays. They may occasionally see each other for concerts or charity gigs but there was no solid commitment to the “lads holiday” Louis had insisted upon in interviews. 

So that’s why right now Niall is signing his own solo contract without telling any of the lads. He would feel more guilty if Harry hadn’t done the same thing. It’s been about six months since they were all together and Niall had filled up his time with travel and golf as best he could but he missed singing. He started writing music almost right away but could never decide who he was writing _for._ Was he getting ready for One Direction to get back together? Was he writing for another random artist or was he writing for himself? Since he was so scattered, he didn’t actually love any of the songs he’d worked on and scrapped them as soon as he decided to go solo. It wasn’t hard to get the details of his contract taken care of quickly. They’d been after him to sign since before the group had taken their break. He knew record companies had been courting each of them for awhile. If he’s honest with himself, he would have liked to have talked to Harry about it all. Asked him what made him decide to sign with Columbia and if Niall was taking a good deal but it didn’t feel right going to Harry when Harry didn’t go to him.

Niall wasn’t hurt. They’d made an agreement and Harry was sticking to it. That meant Niall had to stick to it too. He wasn’t going to make Harry feel guilty. He honestly thought that agreement wasn’t going to be between the two of them. He thought they’d stay in constant contact, sharing every detail of their lives as they had for the last five years but Harry must have decided that Niall deserved to know as much as Liam and Louis did. Still, he wasn’t hurt. Really.

The day after Niall signed, he got a text from Harry. _Coming to London tomorrow. Still be in town?_ Niall wanted to say yes. He wanted to see Harry but he didn’t know if he’d be able to uphold his end of the deal in person. He answered _ya! when can i expect ya?_

The next night Harry arrived in town. Niall didn’t know exactly when he’d make it to his house, so he had dinner, got himself comfortable in pajama pants, and lounged on the couch watching the news. Niall heard the key turning in his door, jumped over the back of his couch and ran to the front to meet Harry. When the door opened, Harry dropped his bag and threw himself into Niall’s arms. He nuzzled into Niall’s neck and said, “I missed you Love.”

Niall had been denying just how much he’d missed Harry. His throat felt scratchy and he couldn’t get any words out so he just clung to him, his hands gripped around Harry’s back. They stood wrapped together in Niall’s entryway for several minutes until Harry finally parted them, lowering his head to look in Niall’s eyes. He ran his hand through Niall’s hair and just looked at the beautiful man in front of him. He just had to say it again, “I really missed you Ni.”

Finally Niall cleared his throat and said, “missed you too, Harry. So much.”

Harry felt a draft behind him and realized he hadn’t closed the front door, so he did that, picked up his bag, and with his hand on Niall’s lower back led them to the living room. He took off his boots and settled on the couch, patting the spot next to him for Niall. “I’m sorry I haven’t been calling very often. With all the movie auditions and acting lessons and shit, I’ve been out of mind trying to be prepared.”

They had been chatting every couple of weeks, a few minutes at a time. Niall knew all about the auditions, his scary meeting with Christopher Nolan, and the acting lessons where they made him do ridiculous things. He had one improv session that centered around a game of telephone gossip and Harry had tried not to use real-life magazine headlines about himself in that one. As soon as it was over, he was on the phone with Niall listing out the things people had said and trying to count how many had literally been headlines about someone in the group. _He’s dead_. _He’s cheated_. _He’s having an affair with the president._

“I don’t blame you Harry. I know we’ve both been busy and we haven’t been in the same city since Christmas. Are you ready to start filming next week?”

Harry groaned, pulled a throw pillow over his face and answered _into_ the pillow.

“Maybe try again without the mask Pet?” Niall pulled the pillow from Harry’s face and sat a bit closer to try to comfort his friend who was obviously stressed about the movie.

Harry sighed, leaned his head against the back of the couch, turned to Niall and answered, “I’m ready in the sense that I don’t want to dread it anymore. I mean, I’m excited, I am. You know that. I’m just nervous I’m going to suck. All these great actors and Christopher Nolan himself will think ‘what the hell?’ and fire me.”

Niall tried to hide his smile and reassured Harry, “you auditioned hon. They saw something in you and decided you could do this. I’m sure they weren’t crazy. You’re not going to get fired.”

Harry pulled his legs up on the couch and shifted his bum so he could lay his head across Niall’s lap, closing his eyes. “I want to sleep but I also want to shag,” he said with a yawn.

Niall laughed, ran his fingers through Harry’s curly hair and said, “how about sleep now and shag in the morning? What time do you have to leave?”

“I have an appointment at noon. You?”

“I canceled my day just in case you had free time.”

Harry opened his eyes and twisted his head to look at Niall’s face. “You canceled your day for me?”

“Seeing my best mate is more important that a golf game and BBQ with some friends I could see anytime. _Especially_ when that best mate is about to become an even bigger star, which means it’ll be even _harder_ to get time with him.”

Harry felt guilt eating him inside. He didn’t know Niall had felt ignored. He wanted to cancel his day to see Ni now too but his appointment was to sign some legal documents and was the reason he’d come to town a week early. He also had dinner plans with Grimmy, but _those_ he could cancel. “I shouldn’t be busy all day. After I finish, I can come back here if you want?”

“If you can spare me some time,” Niall said with a smirk.

Harry frowned and Niall realized he’d taken it too far. “Sorry, Pet. I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. In fact, I’m pretty sure we made a pact _not_ to do that. It’s OK, really. I really mean if you have time, I would love to see you but I know you’ve got a lot going on.”

Harry decided he was definitely canceling on Nick to stay with Niall for another night. “So, we can shag in the morning then?”

“Absolutely, let’s go up to bed, ya?”

The next morning, Niall wakes up to Harry’s mouth on him and he almost forgets Harry has to leave him soon. They’d slept in a little too late for a full shag, but Niall is just happy for a piece of Harry honestly. When they both finish, Harry kisses Niall goodbye and promises to come back later.

Niall lays in bed awhile longer, reliving his wake-up to Harry’s big pink lips. He seriously had better lips than anyone he’d ever kissed before. Maybe that’s why Niall couldn’t settle down with someone else. He loved Harry’s lips too much to give them up. And, well, everything else about him.

Niall gets out of bed and decides to take the time to work on his song writing so it’s not a completely ‘off’ day. He finds himself writing about Harry’s lips again and decides maybe it isn’t really the best time to write new music. He pulls out a song he’d been working on the week prior about living a carefree, happy, party-filled life and just couldn’t make it work either. His mind kept going back to Harry’s lips, and Harry’s solo career, and Harry being in London on the weekends for awhile, and Harry Harry Harry.

When Harry came back in the afternoon, they had a proper catch-up. They still didn’t talk about either of their solo careers but everything else under the sun was fair game. Their parents, siblings, friends, the movie, and Niall’s golfing adventures were all discussed until it felt like no time had passed since their hiatus started. Harry spent the night again but had to leave the next day to get ready for the movie.

The next time Niall saw him, or a piece of him, was his Instagram photo of his hair that he’d cut off and had donated. Niall thought it was OK to be hurt about that. He would have gone with Harry if he’d said something. He knew how much Harry liked having his long hair and Niall was certainly a fan of it so it was almost like a punch in the gut that he found out about it the same way everyone else had. Niall stewed for two days, not answering random, non-hair-related Harry texts. Harry finally sent a text asked _are you ignoring me?_ Niall gave in and said _yes._ Harry called Niall immediately and the first word out of his mouth was “why?”

“Because you cut off your hair and didn’t tell me.”

Harry sounds irritated when he says, “you knew I had to cut it for the movie Niall. It wasn’t like it was a secret.”

Niall growled, “but you did it here in London. I could have gone with you!” His voice gained an icy tone as he said, “I don’t know if you _realize_ this but I happened to be a fan of your long curls and I’m pissed you chopped them off without even talking to me about it! You didn’t even text me after it was done to _tell_ me you did it. I found out through Instagram like the entire fucking world!”

Harry sounded like this wasn’t a fight worth having when he said, “it’s _my_ hair Niall.“

Niall could feel his eyes watering. He didn’t want to cry over something so stupid. He wasn’t a crier but Harry didn’t understand where he was coming from at all. They weren’t a real couple, Niall knew that, but they were supposed to be close. They were supposed to be best mates who slept together. Harry was supposed to love shagging Niall as much as Niall loved shagging Harry. Instead, he felt like he was just a casual hook-up that he picked up when it was convenient. “Fine,” he said coldly and hung up. He’d never hung up on Harry before. It wasn’t something they did. When they got mad, they still talked through their problems and most of their calls ended with an ‘i love you.’

Harry didn’t call him immediately back. He also didn’t text an apology or any sort of understanding statement. Niall and Harry didn’t talk for the next five days. Niall suddenly found himself inspired to write heartbreaking songs. He had 6 new songs written in that time and every one of them could make his fans tear up. Saturday afternoon, he was planning a trip to the local pub with a couple friends, packing up his wallet and phone, about to head out the door when someone walked into his house. Harry.

Niall looked up and glared at the intruder. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

Harry’s face didn’t tell Niall if he was coming to apologize or yell at him. He again dropped his bag in the entryway and walked slowly to Niall. When he reached him, he put his hands on either side of Niall’s waist and pulled him in so their stomachs were touching. “You’re mad at me,” Harry answered.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Niall said, not backing away.

“You’re mad at me and I’m close enough to do something about it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you properly about getting my hair cut. It didn’t occur to me that it would hurt your feelings.”

“Why would it? I’m just a casual shag, right?” Niall said coldly.

Harry pursed his lips and thought about his words before answering carefully, “you know you’re not a casual shag to me Niall.”

“I don’t think I do. I’m actually _pretty damn certain_ that’s what I am to you now that One Direction is over.”

Harry’s eyes widened at Niall’s statement. They weren’t over. They were on a hiatus they had all agreed to come back from at some point. Harry didn’t know which statement to respond to first. He knew Niall was goading him. He decided to stick with the subject at hand. “You’re _not,_ Niall. You are my best friend who I enjoy sleeping with sometimes very much.”

“Right, best friend. Should we analyze that part of that statement first or notice how you agreed about the casual shag part?”

Harry growled and backed up several steps from Niall. Niall didn’t know what he wanted at this point, but he knew it hurt when Harry backed away. “I don’t know what to say Niall. I think of you as my best friend. I’m sorry you don’t see me that way. I know you have a plethora of people in your life so maybe you just matter more to me than I do to you.”

Now it’s Niall’s turn to be surprised. “ _Excuse me_? You think I matter more to _you_ than you do to _me_? That’s utter bullshit Styles. This fight started, or rather continued, because you did something hurtful. Because you didn’t think of _me._ Not the other way around buddy.”

“What do you mean continued? What else are we fighting about that I don’t know about?”

Niall realized his mistake, lowered his head, and said, “oh, nothing, never mind, sorry.”

Harry stepped forward again and said, “no. Tell me what you’re talking about. What am I missing here?”

Niall looked up at Harry’s face and debated what to say. They weren’t allowed to guilt each other over doing their own projects. They weren’t expected to tell each other anything. _That_ had been the deal. If Niall says something now, he’s effectively saying he lied. He’s going back on his word. However, if he _doesn’t_ say something, he continues to keep his hurt bundled up inside of him. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry,” Niall finally says, looking back down at his shoes.

“Bullshit,” Harry answers. He steps the last couple steps to Niall and lifts his chin to look in his eyes. “Tell me, Ni. Clearly it’s upsetting you so let’s just get it all out on the table.”

Niall’s throat is getting scratchy as he tries to hold in his emotions. He clears it and says, “we made a pact and I guess I broke it.”

“A pact?” Harry asks confused. Moments later it dawns on him, “the solo deal?” he asks.

Niall just nods. “It’s not like I didn’t know you were going to do it. I did. I absolutely knew it was going to happen but once again, I found out about it through the internet Harry. You didn’t tell me and, like I said, we made a pact so I’m sorry for bringing it up. I just, when we made it, I thought that it didn’t really apply to us. I thought we were making it so that we wouldn’t have to worry about what the others thought. So no one would get jealous and just so we were putting it out there that everyone was going to do their own thing. I just thought you’d tell me because you’d _want_ to tell me, not because you felt like you had to.”

Harry’s hand was no longer holding Niall’s chin. It had found it’s way into his the pockets of his jeans, moving his thumb in and out. Harry knew Niall was right. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “You’re right to be mad at me for that and yes, I used our pact as a reason to not tell you. I was scared you’d be mad at me for leaving Syco. That you would accuse me of not wanting to ever get back together with One Direction.”

“Then I guess we just don’t know each other as well as we though we did,” Niall sighed. “Listen, I have to go. I’m going to meet some friends. I was just on my way out.”

Harry nodded and said, “OK, I guess I’ll just go back to my place then.”

“Bye, Harry,” Niall said heading out the door first, knowing Harry would lock the door behind him.


	2. Part 2: How do Narry make-up? (Tumblr parts 3 & 4)

“You signed too,” Harry said as Niall walked into his living room that night. Harry was supposed to go home but here he was sitting on Niall’s couch.

Niall had a few drinks and this was not the time to have this fight. Instead of arguing, Niall climbed into Harry’s lap and started kissing him. Harry attempted to push Niall back so they could actually talk about their problems but Niall was insistent. Harry gave in and let Niall use his body, kissing him back just as hard. Niall unbuttoned Harry’s shirt with his tongue in his mouth, pulled his sleeves down his arms, not moving from his spot on Harry’s thighs. Once Harry was bare on top, Niall shifted back so he could unbutton Harry’s jeans and attempted to pull them down without getting off the couch. Unfortunately, he needed to stop kissing Harry to get them off completely, something Niall worried would cause talking to happen again. Harry didn’t bother attempting to talk, realizing that Niall wasn’t going to let that happen tonight. Since Harry hadn’t attempted words, Niall decided he could shift his mouth and started moving down Harry’s neck to his collarbone. Harry moaned at the change and started pulling Niall’s clothes off. By the time they were both naked, Harry shifted them so they were laying on the couch, Niall on top. Harry asked, “you want to fuck me?” into Niall’s ear. Niall nodded, sat up and started searching for his pants to pull out his wallet that held the condom they’d need.

Niall got his aggression out, pounding Harry much harder than he usually did but Harry didn’t complain or even act like it was hurting any more. He took it and even seemed to enjoy it. Once they were done, Niall fell on top of Harry, breathing hard and waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Harry to start the talk he couldn’t avoid. Instead, he was surprised once again when Harry just wrapped his arms around Niall’s back and kissed his head, and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Niall woke up still on top of Harry’s naked body. He didn’t know how he felt about it. Part of him wished Harry had just escaped in the middle of the night. He was also glad he’d stuck around and still another part dreaded their morning conversation. Niall felt Harry’s large hand moving up and down his back so he looked up into Harry’s green eyes. “Morning,” he said.

“Morning, Ni,” Harry answered with an intense gaze. “So, you don’t want to talk?”

“Not really,” Niall answered putting his head back down on Harry’s chest.

“So, you really just want to be fuck buddies then?” Harry said blandly, with no emotion in his voice.

Niall’s chest tightened up at Harry’s question. He paused and said, “no, I want to be friends.”

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. “Friends talk.”

“Do they? I thought they avoided the tough talks,” Niall said sarcastically.

“What do you want to know, Ni?” Harry asks exasperated.

“I don’t care Harry. Honestly, whatever you do with your career is your business. I just want to know when you’re doing something new. I want to be included in your life. Feel like I matter. And, for the record, and as you probably figured out, I wanted to tell you about my contract but I didn’t because you didn’t tell me about yours. I even wanted your help with it!”

Niall sat up in the middle of his little speech and Harry’s eyes got more sad with each word. “I’m so sorry, Niall. I never meant to hurt you. I promise. What I said last night, about you being mad at me, I meant. We’ve always avoided the solo talks. I know the media brings it up, and we had the pact, but it just felt like I was betraying you by signing, especially with Columbia. I couldn’t stand to hear you tell me you were disappointed in me. So I avoided it. I told you about everything else hoping it would be enough.”

“It wasn’t,” Niall said grumpily. “But I guess I get it. Honestly, I don’t know how much we should talk now that I’ve signed with Syco anyway. I don’t want to feel like I’m competing with you.”

“I won’t compete with you,” Harry said declared. “If you pick a date for your album, mine won’t come out the same _month_ , Ni. If I hear your album and anything sounds too similar to mine, I’ll adjust my tracks. I want you to be successful. I don’t want my career to hurt yours.”

Niall glared at Harry. “Oh, because I couldn’t take the competition? Because _I_ couldn’t re-do _my_ tracks?”

Harry groans. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Stop trying to pick a fight with me. I said I’m sorry. I explained my feelings and I will try to do better. I asked you already, what do you want to know?”

Niall deflated a bit listening to Harry. He mumbled, “you’re right. I’m sorry.” He looked up at Harry’s face, trying to find the right words to fix them. “I think we should stick with the whole not talking about our solo careers thing. I don’t want to hear something you’re doing and then be jealous and end up _not_ doing something so it’s not too similar to you or something. We should just each do our own thing and then when the time comes, we’ll share it. Can we do that?”

“God, yes,” Harry said, sitting up, pulling Niall to his chest. “I just want us to be OK again. Whatever you want, I’ll do. I also promise to over-communicate. You’re going to know way more about my life than you ever wanted to Horan.”

Niall laughed at Harry and then his eyes got wider as he realized Harry was being serious. “Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need to know every detail of your life. What sandwich you’re eating, every person you spoke to, every compliment you’ve ever received. Not necessary. _Really_ not necessary.”

Harry is shaking his head saying, “no, it is. I can’t risk not telling you something you want to hear so I’ll start now. We’ll work our way backwards. My back is hurting Niall. I need an ice pack, but I don’t want you to get up, so I’m going to sit here and suffer. Also, I’m hungry. I didn’t eat dinner last night. I wanted to but when I was at the train station, the only thing open was McDonald’s and I have to at least _try_ to eat healthy. I can’t go gaining weight in the middle of filming a movie about _war._ So, instead I just had some peanuts and water from the little market store. Oh! At that little store they had -”

Niall is trying to get off of Harry’s lap. He’s shifting back, but Harry’s hold on him tightens as he rambles on with random details of his life. Niall puts his hands on Harry’s chest and shoves but he’s like a boulder and barely moves an inch so Niall changes tactics and just starts saying, “no, no, no, no, no just stop, please stop. I’m sorry. I don’t want to know anything. Nothing, Styles, nothing.”

Eventually, Harry cracks. He starts laughing uncontrollably and Niall manages to break away. He jumps up and yells in victory, “YES!” He then leans over, kisses Harry’s cheek and jogs to his kitchen. Harry is slowly getting up off the couch, stretching his back little by little when Niall comes bounding back in with an ice pack. He sits next to Harry and carefully places the pack on Harry’s lower back, right where it always hurts. He holds it for a minute, leans in and asks, “what do you want to eat, Pet?”

“Anything, Niall. Literally anything,” Harry says trying to sound weak and pathetic.

“Liar. I could go make you a bacon-wrapped steak if you’re craving protein with a side of coke.”

Harry gasps and exclaims, “you wouldn’t!”

“You said anything,” Niall sing-songs.

“How about a smoothie?”

“That sounds more like you. Coming right up.” Niall pulls over a pillow to prop the ice pack up on Harry’s back and heads to the kitchen to make their breakfasts.

While they eat, Harry continues to give Niall excruciating details of his life, only making it back several days before Niall gives up. He stands in the middle of Harry’s monologue and walks out of the room without a word, going to get himself ready for the day. 

When Niall came back downstairs, Harry was still sitting on his couch but the ice pack had moved to the table.

“Feeling better, Pet?” Niall asked, sitting next to Harry and rubbing his back.

“Yes, thank you,” Harry said. “So, are we really OK?”

Niall lays his head on Harry’s shoulder as he continues rubbing his back. “Yeah, we’re really OK. I would like to see you more though.”

“Done,” Harry declared. “I’m going to be filming in France for a bit and I can come home most weekends. Maybe home could be here?” Harry looked down at Niall’s face still on his shoulder to see him smiling.

“I’d like that.”

“And I can tell you every _single_ detail about the movie making process.”

Niall started laughing then said, “listen, I want to know about the movie making process, I do. But when you say every single detail, we can limit the details to things I’d care about. Things I’d find interesting. Or things that are affecting you, which would also be things I care about.”

Harry wrapped his arm around Niall’s shoulder and said, “we’ll see. I’m probably going to over-share but I’ll try not to go crazy and annoy you.”

“Honestly, I’ll take the over-sharing over under-sharing any day.” Niall bit Harry’s still-naked shoulder.

“Fiesty, eh?”

“Always with you,” Niall said with a grin.

“Round 2?”

“Maybe then round 3. We have some time to make up for,” Niall said as he shifted to Harry’s lap. “Good job not getting dressed by the way.”

Harry smiled at Niall, pulled him in and yanked the blanket off his lap, revealing how happy he was to have Niall again.


	3. Part 3: Release Date (Tumblr part 5 & 6)

The next month passed quickly. Harry continued to film during the week and stay with Niall over the weekend. He definitely shared too much information but Niall didn’t complain once, glad to have the almost constant interaction. Niall shared a ton too, but very purposefully left out all details of his solo album prep. He was writing music during the week and went to the studio a couple times to work on some sounds. Whenever Harry asked about those days, Niall would just tell him he did “stuff,” their new code word for solo album business and Harry would drop it. Since Harry was absorbed in the movie, he didn’t have time to do any of his own writing so he felt like he was falling behind. Of course he didn’t tell Niall this.

Niall’s label wasn’t asking for him to complete his album until Spring of 2017 so he could take his time to develop the album that really represented him as a solo artist. Harry was also given the same luxury, but his label was also aware of his acting project, so they gave him until Summer 2017. Neither knew the dates the other was aiming to complete their albums even though they were obviously curious.

When Harry was done filming in France, he didn’t get an opportunity to see Niall for the next month so they planned to meet up in LA. Niall wanted to work with a couple of producers in the US and he was excited to head out there at the same time as Harry. Niall had recently bought a house there, so this was also an opportunity to work on decorating it. The day after he arrived, he was sitting on his new couch and Harry walked in saying, “is it weird how I practically live with you where ever we go? I never stay at my own house.”

“I think it would be more weird if you ever actually stayed at your own house,” Niall said laughing.

Harry was confused. “Wait, staying at my _own_ house would be weird?”

“No, I mean, even when you’re not staying with me, you’re not staying at your house. You’re with Gemma, or Ben, or Jeff, or your mum. Seriously, when was the last time you stayed in a place you owned?”

Harry faked being offended and said, “actually, Niall, I slept in my own place in London before coming here, _thank you.”_

“Oh, well, in that case, I’m sorry Pet. I’m glad you were able to remember your way home.” Niall paused and then added, “did you need to GPS it?”

Harry threw a pillow at Niall’s head, which he attempted to duck out of the way of, instead the corner got caught against his ear. “Ow!” he yelled, faking pain in his head.

Harry plopped himself next to Niall and said, “shall I kiss it better?”

“You did it, so you better!” Niall exclaimed. Harry leaned in and gently kissed Niall’s ear. 

Niall backed away and said, “that feels gross. Wet and airy.”

“My kisses are _gross_ , Niall?” Harry sounds offended.

“No, kisses in my _ear_ , are gross, _Harry_.” Niall turns and plants a kiss on Harry’s lips. “Missed you,” he said softly.

Harry smiled, leaned into Niall and replied back, “missed you too Love.” They then spent the rest of the night reminding each other about every detail of their bodies.

The next few weeks were spent working during the day - Niall on his album and Harry on his movie and being together almost every night. They still maintained their own social lives and went out with their other friends but ultimately, they spent most of their free time together.

Harry was finally able to start working on his album and was having a meeting (lunch) with his agent, Jeff, to figure out a bit of a timeline. After chatting for a bit and starting to eat their entrees, Jeff got down to business. “You’re staying with Niall.”

Harry looked up from his pasta frowning, confused, “yeah?”

“So, do you know when his album is set to debut?” Jeff asked.

Harry was still frowning and shook his head. “Nope, we don’t talk about it.”

Jeff was flabbergasted, “what do you _mean_ you don’t talk about it? You don’t talk about _music_? With _Niall_?” Jeff didn’t understand how Harry and Niall could _keep_ from talking about music. They often used each other as sounding boards during One Direction.

Harry was spinning his pasta onto a spoon and answered, “correct. We decided for the sake of our friendship, we were not going to talk about our solo albums or careers. We don’t want to accidentally screw the other over or something.”

“But wouldn’t you be _more_ likely to _accidentally_ screw something up if you _didn’t_ know the details?”

Harry takes a bite of his pasta but didn’t quite get it all in his mouth. As he’s wiping the tomato sauce from his lips and chin, he looks up at Jeff and says, “we don’t want to accidentally on-purpose do something to hurt the other.”

“Accidentally on-purpose?”

“Yep.”

Jeff is exasperated. “It’s just, Harry, which ever one of you comes out first will win.”

Harry drops his fork, squishes his eyebrows together and asks, “win?”

“Yes. There’s only room for so many boy band stars to have solo albums,” Jeff explains. “Zayn made his attempt and he’s fizzled out since he refused to tour or do interviews. Justin has made it past boy band star. So that leaves one single spot open for either you or Niall. You’re the clear winner if people were taking bets, but if he gets out first, he might edge you out. People might not be interested in your album when it comes out if they’re already jamming to Niall’s.”

Harry shrugs, trying to appear like he doesn’t care. “I’m not asking him.”

Jeff leaned in and said, “you don’t have to ask him to find out.”

Harry glared at Jeff and tried to shift the subject by asking, “when do you want to try to put mine out?”

“I’d like to be more aggressive than we planned originally. He’s had a bit more time to work on it. I mean, I know you were working on it before you even left the group, so you’ve got _that_ but this whole time you’ve been filming, he’s been moving ahead. Soooo, I’d like to put it out May 19th. What do you think?”

Harry swallowed another bite and chewed for a minute before answering. “Do you think that’s soon enough?”

“I don’t know. I mean, if you could get a date, we can certainly adjust ours. But really you need to focus on getting your album together.”

“So, I shouldn’t wait and try to do the Dunkirk interviews at the same time as the album press?”

“Definitely not. They may focus on your first acting job and forget to mention the fact that you’re singing again.”

“OK, I’ll work on my album. I’ve got about 20 songs right now so I can start recording and we can work on weeding out the bad ones.”

“I’m sure none of them are bad, H,” Jeff said confidently.

“Oh, I’m sure some of them _are_ Jeff,” Harry said with a small smile, twirling more pasta.

“Great vote of confidence you’re giving me here,” Jeff says wryly.

Harry let out a huge laugh that caused surrounding tables to look up at them. He didn’t even notice while Jeff offered apologetic looks to everyone he made eye contact with.

“So, just, you know, let me know if you find out anything,” Jeff says at the end of their lunch.

“Won’t do,” Harry says, paying their bill.

********************************************

Niall was out for the day, Harry’s not sure where, so he decided to use the peace and quiet of the house to do some more song writing. He liked to write with people, but he preferred to start songs on his own and then get someone else’s opinions to perfect it. His phone rang a couple times in the middle of his work but he chose to ignore it because he was so in tune with this particular song. Once he felt like he’d prepped it enough to be shared, he picked up his phone to see what he’d missed. He saw a missed call from Niall and one from Jeff. Since Niall’s call was probably “what do you want for dinner” and Jeff’s was probably work related, Harry called Jeff back first.

“Hey, Jeff, what’s up? Harry asked when Jeff answered.

“Hey! How many songs do you have recorded now?“ 

“I think seven, another 25 ready to record, and 8 in progress.”

“Do you think you’re still on track for the debut date we were talking about?”

“May 19th right?” Harry asked.

“Yep,” Jeff answered.

“Yes, I think that’s enough time. I can record another 15 songs in the next month hopefully and then we can work on starting to pick and choose. Meanwhile, I’ll keep writing so we can have a little more selection, make the whole album work together.”

“OK, good, I’m going to let them know at the label. They’ve been asking for a date and I’ve been putting it off so we could make sure it was realistic.”

“Sounds good to me,” Harry said.

Meanwhile, Niall had called Harry to tell him he was on his way home, and as Harry thought, ask what he wanted for dinner. Since Harry didn’t answer, he’d picked up burritos, and walked into his house in the middle of Harry’s conversation. The first words Niall heard were, “May 19th, right?” Niall froze in his hallway. He heard a bit more and realized that was Harry’s album debut date. That was one week before Niall’s planned date of May 26. Niall started having a minor panic attack and instead of alerting Harry to his presence, backed outside to work out his breathing. After waiting at least 10 minutes, Niall walked back in, making noise banging their food around, kicking off his shoes and throwing his wallet on the side-table to alert Harry that he was home. When he made it to the living room, Harry had his guitar back in his lap and he looked like was just fooling around with different chords. He offered Niall a large smile, put the guitar down, walked to him and pulled him into a deep kiss. “Hi, Love,” he greeted him after pulling his face away and keeping his body close.

“Hi, Pet,” Niall returned with a small smile. “How was your day?”

“Good, very good actually,” Harry said maintaining his large smile.

“Work stuff?” Niall asked.

“Yes, work stuff,” Harry agreed. “You?”

“Yep, work stuff. Was good,” Niall said pulling away. He walked to the kitchen to get them plates for their burritos, chewing on his lip as he debated whether he should tell Harry he’d heard the call. 

In the middle of his thought, Harry wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, setting his chin on Niall’s shoulder. “Burritos?” he asked.

“Yeah, I got you a veggie one, OK?”

“Perfect,” Harry whispered. “And _after_ dinner, I’ve got a great idea for dessert.”

Niall moaned, “I can’t wait for your idea of dessert,” May 19th mostly disappearing from his mind.

A couple of days later Niall is talking to his business manager and asked, “if Harry’s album comes out before mine, do you think I’ll fail?”

His manager looks at him and says cautiously, “I don’t want to say you’ll fail but you certainly won’t do as well.”

Niall bit his lip and said softly, “maybe we should move up my release date.”

“If you think you’ll be ready sooner, yeah, we can do that.”

Niall nods and feels his insides start to constrict. He brings his right hand up to his mouth, starts chewing on his cuticles and doesn’t hear a word his manager says for the next five minutes, though he continues to nod. _Can I really do this?_ Niall thought. _To my best mate? Who I might love?_ _But everyone thinks he’s going to succeed. The rumored contract he got is amazing. They have faith in him. I’m the one that needs the extra help. He’ll do great, no matter when his album comes out compared to mine._ Unfortunately, all of Niall’s excuses don’t calm the dinosaurs in his stomach or the boa constrictor around his heart.


	4. Part 4: Niall's guilt (Tumblr parts 7 & 8)

As Niall drove home that night, he was thinking that if Harry and him were a real couple, he’d bring him flowers. But they’re not a real couple. Of course Harry would still like flowers so Niall decided to stop and pick up a gigantic bouquet of the most exotic flowers he could find for his Pet.

When he walked in the door of his house, Niall yelled, “honey! I’m home!” Harry walked in, saw the flowers and his face lit up.

“You brought flowers home!?“ he asked excitedly. He was more timid when he asked, "Are they for me?” scared of embarrassing himself.

“Course they’re for you!” Niall said handing the flowers to Harry with a kiss on the cheek.

“What did you do wrong?” Harry asked jokingly.

Niall’s stomach hadn’t completed calmed itself from his meeting earlier, but it knotted back up tighter than ever at Harry’s question. “Love?” Harry asked, suddenly concerned. “You just went pale. What’s wrong?” Harry reached out and ran his hand around Niall’s face to his forehead, cheek and the back of his neck.

“I’m OK. I just, I don’t know. Maybe I should lay down for a bit,” Niall mumbled.

“Yes, of course.” Harry put the flowers down on the table and put a hand on Niall’s back to help him to his room.

“Pet, I’m OK. You don’t need to take me upstairs,” Niall said over his shoulder.

Harry sniffed and said, “I’ll believe that when the color comes back to your face.”

Niall let Harry lead him up to his room, help him change, and get a washcloth to put over his eyes. “Just relax, Ni. Whatever is wrong, we’ll fix it.”

“I’m sorry,” Niall whispered.

Harry swallowed and asked, “for what Love?”

“I, um, I shouldn’t be taking your time up. You should go back to work. Didn’t you say you had dinner with Jeff tonight? I’m sure he has important stuff to talk with you.”

“Niall,” Harry said firmly. “Dinner with Jeff can wait or be canceled even. If you’re sick, I’m going to take care of you.”

Niall has never felt so guilty in his life. He hurt Harry and he doesn’t even know. “You don’t have to do that. I just need to rest. Please go.”

Harry didn’t move and even though Niall couldn’t see him, he knew Harry was in his head thinking. “Why don’t you want me to take care of you?” he finally asked.

Niall knew he should take the towel off his eyes, but it was a comfort that Harry couldn’t look for the truth or tears in them. “Why do you _want_ to?” he asked.

“Did I do something wrong?” Harry asked quietly, obviously concerned.

Niall couldn’t let Harry think this was his fault. He pulled the washcloth off his eyes and sat up, wrapping his arms around Harry’s chest and arms. Harry's eyes were on his own hands in his lap. “No, Pet,” Niall answered just as softly. “You did absolutely nothing wrong. I’m sorry. I just need to sleep if off I think. Please go to your dinner. Don’t cancel for me. I don’t want to hurt your career.”

“You’re not hurting my career. I can talk to Jeff anytime. I can go call him in the phone if that will make you feel better about it.”

Niall was starting to get irritated. Why wouldn't Harry just let him wallow? "Harry," Niall said firmly. "Please." With that, Harry pulled himself from Niall's arms and walked out of the room without a word. 

Niall continued to avoid Harry for the next week, only seeing him late at night when they were both in bed. He went to concerts, clubs, out to dinner with friends, ran in the canyon days Harry was planning to be home, and worked in the studio whenever possible. Unfortunately, staying away from Harry didn’t help his health. He continued to feel bad, even creating a mild fever for himself. He felt so bad one day that he just decided to stay in bed. 

Harry had gotten up early to go running and since most of the week when he’d come back, Niall was already gone, he was surprised to find Niall still in bed after his workout. He wasn’t sure what to say since Niall had obviously been avoiding him so he chose to say nothing and take his shower. When he came out in his towel, Niall was still in bed, not asleep, but not talking so Harry asked, “do you want me to leave?”

Niall looked up at Harry, bit his lip and thought about his answer. Yes, he wanted Harry to leave so he could stop thinking about how he betrayed him but no, he definitely didn’t want Harry to leave him. After a couple of minutes, Harry gave up on an answer and started getting dressed muttering, “I guess so.”

“No,” Niall said strongly. “I don’t want you to go.”

Harry stopped pulling his pants on and, without turning around said, “I don’t believe you.” Again, Niall paused so Harry went back to getting dressed. When he went to pull his shirt on, he felt arms wrap around his body. Niall was pressed against his side, head buried under his neck. Harry tossed his shirt to the side and wrapped Niall up in his own arms. “What’s going on with you Ni?” Harry asked into Niall’s hair.

“I’m sorry,” Niall said again. Whenever he’d spoken to Harry this week it had been a _hello_ , _goodbye_ , or an _I’m sorry_. Occasionally he mentioned other plans he had so Harry wouldn’t wait for him but Harry stopped expecting even that by the end of the week.

“Tell me what’s going on Niall,” Harry pleaded. “Love, I’m worried about you. About us. Just tell me what I did wrong.”

Niall couldn’t stop the tears from coming down his face and he said into Harry’s body, “it wasn’t you. It was me.”

Harry pulled Niall tight against his body, trying to comfort him with his strength. When Niall continued to cry into Harry’s neck, he picked him up and carried him to the bed bridal style. He tried to set Niall down, but Niall kept his arms wrapped around him so Harry laid them both down on the bed. He kept his head close to his heart and then softly asked, “tell me, baby. What am I missing here? What did you do?”

Niall sniffled a few more times and finally sat up, away from Harry. He wiped his face, looked down at his knees he was now bending to his body. He bent over them and put his face between them and said, “I did a bad thing and I don’t even know why I did it. The worst part is I don’t know how to fix it.”

Harry leaned in so he could hear Niall and then directed, “please just tell me what you did Love. We’ll figure it. Together.”

Niall looked up at Harry and said, “I heard you the other day. I walked into the house when you were talking about your album. I heard your release date.”

Harry bit his lip, took a deep breath and prompted Niall for more, “what did you _do_ Niall?”

“I told my management that we had to move my date up. I was scheduled for the week after you and now I’m the week before.” Niall continued to look down at his knees, avoiding Harry’s devastated look. “I’m sooo sorry, Harry. Really, truly. I don’t know why I did it. I mean, I know _why_ I did it. Everyone keeps saying we’re competing and that you’ve got this edge, which I get but they also keep saying that if I get my album out first, I’ll have a better chance of succeeding. I didn’t want to fail. But what I did was so awful.” Niall was finally brave enough to look up at Harry's tear soaked face. If Niall thought he was hurting before, he didn’t even realize it could get worse.

“I should go,” Harry said coldly getting off the bed, sliding behind Niall. He picked up his shirt to finish getting dressed and then grabbed his luggage. He threw in all of his clothes he had at Niall’s house, without bothering to fold them, and went to the bathroom to grab his toiletries. Finally, he walked to opposite side of the bed from where Niall was and got his phone charger. He couldn’t look at Niall and he couldn’t stop the silent tears from falling. Once packed, he walked to the door, paused and said, “I never would have done something like this to you. I hope it was worth it,” before walking out. He heard Niall’s sob as he went down the stairs and left his best friend’s house, possibly for good.

When Jeff wanted him to cheat to beat Niall, he never even considered it. Harry decided he was right in trying to keep his business life separate from his personal. Apparently fame and success meant more than the relationship they’d been building. Or maybe Harry had imagined that. He knew they were friends who slept together, or fuck buddies as some claimed, but he really thought they were becoming more. They were practically living together. They planned their meals together, rearranged their lives to spend more time together, so why did he feel like it was suddenly all for nothing?

Harry went to Jeff’s house, walked right in and found his friend sitting at his office desk looking over a spreadsheet. Harry sat on the couch behind the desk chair and started pulling on his lips. Jeff turned around with a frown on his face and asked, “what’s wrong?”

“Niall overheard my release date and adjusted his so it would come out first,” Harry said bluntly.

Jeff’s eyes widened and he was speechless for a minute before saying, “wow. I never would have thought he’d do something like that. And he told you? Or you found out?”

“He must have done it like a week ago because he bought me some flowers and he’s been kind of out of it ever since. He loves being famous more than he loves me,” Harry said falling into himself and breaking down again. After he cried on the drive to Jeff’s house he’d managed to sober himself before coming inside but just saying the words caused him to lose it again. “I can’t believe he’d do this Jeff. If he really wanted his album to come out first, like, fine! I don’t care! Go first! But to go behind my back and do it... it just.. it hurts.” 

Jeff got up from his desk chair, sat with Harry and bundled his friend up into his arms. “Harry, he made a mistake. He told you, right? He felt bad?”

Harry yanked himself out of Jeff’s arms and answered angrily, “he _told_ me because I begged him to. He _told_ me because he couldn’t even look at me any more.”

“That’s good!” Jeff defends. “He felt guilty and he felt bad and _told_ you! It’s not like you had to find out from someone else.”

“Whose side are you _on_?” Harry asked glaring at Jeff.

Jeff sighed. “Always yours. You know that. I’m just saying he felt bad so maybe you need to spend a little time apart and then you can make up.”

“What’s the point?” Harry asks disgusted. “Why should I make up with someone who cares about his money than his boyfriend?” Both Harry and Jeff gasped at his admission. “I mean, not his boyfriend. His best friend. Or friend anyway,” Harry rambles. “Fuck buddy. I don’t fucking know what we are!!!” Harry yells at the end. Then Harry calmly says, “were. We aren’t boyfriends or best friends or friends or _fuck_ buddies anymore. I don’t even know if we’re friends at this point.”


	5. Part 5: Can Niall fix this? (Tumblr Parts 9 & 10)

Niall wanted to talk to Harry to apologize. He wanted to apologize over and over until he was forgiven but Niall knew better than to try to call or see him. He had to fix it first. Niall went to his management and told them he needed to push his release date back to the original one. They didn’t understand. “Are you feeling pressure? Do you feel like you’re not going to make it? It’s only two weeks difference,” they’d said. Niall didn’t offer them a valid reason but they eventually gave in to keep their artist happy since it was still within the approved time frame.

Now Niall had to figure out how to tell Harry. He knew his calls wouldn’t be answered and he didn’t want to risk a face to face rejection so Niall called Jeff.

“Niall? Something I can help you with?” Jeff answered.

“Yes, actually, I-” Niall started.

Jeff interrupted him, “gee, I’m sorry. You already broke my best friend and client. I just don’t know what else I can do for you.”

Niall growled at Jeff‘s sarcasm. “Jeff, I’m sorry. This is serious. I need you to tell Harry something for me.”

“Don’t think I can do that. You want to talk to your ex, you can talk directly to him. You know, if you can get him to return your calls.”

“My ex?” Niall asked curiously. Harry and him had never been an official couple. They spent a lot of time together, shared a house and a bed, talked about everything under the sun _but_ their solo careers, and certainly shagged a lot but they’d never had a talk to make themselves anything more concrete.

“Yeah, the guy you’ve been shagging for, what, 2 years?” 

“That doesn’t make him my ex,” Niall answered. He didn’t even know why he was arguing with Jeff. He would love for Harry to actually be his boyfriend. 

“No, the shagging might not but I’m thinking that combined with all the intimacy, late night talks, coupley, romantic shit you two do for each other does.”

Niall gave up on the argument and said, “listen, I just need you to tell Harry I changed my release date back. It’s the week after his now. I just want him to talk to me. Please will you tell him that Jeff?” Niall is biting his fingertips as he pleads with Jeff in his mind. If Jeff doesn’t help him, he’ll have to work his way down his LA phone book to find someone willing to get in the middle of this mess and honestly, Niall didn’t want anyone else to know about what he’d done if possible.

Jeff was silent on the other end of the phone for several moments then answered, “you really did that?”

“Yes,” Niall said strongly.

“Because you love Harry?”

Although Niall’s mind screamed YES, his mouth said calmly, “you know I do. I messed up and I’m just trying to fix this. Please help me.”

Jeff was battling in his mind about whether he wanted to get in the middle of Narry’s fight. He knew Harry was miserable and this could either fix him or drive him further away. Knowing Harry, he could feel guilty that his release date is first and that he’d be hurting Niall. Ultimately though, Jeff knew he had to tell him. If anything, it would help mend his broken heart. “Fine,” Jeff said. “I will tell him and then you can apologize yourself. I’m just telling him about the date change.”

“Will he answer my call?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you shouldn’t call.”

“When can I come over?” Niall asked desperately.

Jeff is getting exasperated now. “I don’t know Niall! We’re not teenagers plotting to get you to see your crush. Be a big boy and figure it out. I’m going now. I walked out on lunch with Harry to answer your call and I’m sure he’s wondering what I’m doing so bye.” Jeff hung up before Niall could answer. Although he was a bit rude, Niall was very grateful for Jeff’s involvement. First two steps to making up with Harry complete.

Jeff walked back into his dining room where Harry was pretending to eat, just moving his salad around his plate.  Instead of building up to it Jeff said bluntly, “Niall pushed his release date back to his original one, a week after yours.”

Harry looked up confused. “What? How do you know that?”

“Niall just called and told me,” Jeff shrugged.

Harry pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw no missed calls or texts. “Why didn’t he call me?” Harry asked with a pout.

“I’m guessing he didn’t think you’d answer. Would you have?”

Harry twirled his phone in his hand as he contemplated his answer. “I don’t know. But he did that for me, right?”

Jeff looked at Harry like he was crazy. “Of _course_ he did that for you but that’s the end of my involvement. If you want to talk to him, call him. I think he’s planning on coming to see you though.”

Harry bit his lip, leaned forward over his food and asked, “really? Do you know when?”

“Nope,” Jeff said starting to eat his own food.

Niall didn’t go see Harry for two days. He wanted to go to Jeff’s house as soon as he hung up but he didn’t know how quickly Jeff would tell Harry the news and didn’t want to show up and get punched. OK, so he didn’t really think Harry would punch him, but he wouldn’t blame him if he did.

Niall sent a text to Jeff asking _is Harry at your house now?_

Jeff answered _yes and i’m not_

Niall took a deep breath, grabbed his keys and prepared to see Harry and explain himself. When he got to Jeff’s house, he basically dragged himself to the door. He knew he had to do this. He owed Harry an explanation and an apology. Suddenly he wished he’d brought something as a peace offering. Not flowers after the last time but something. A bottle of wine, a ring, lunch. Niall took one last calming breath and rang the doorbell. About 30 seconds later, Harry opens the door and he doesn’t look surprised to see him at all.

“Niall,” he says, nodding his direction.

“Can I come in?” Niall asked timidly.

Harry moved back against the door, leaving the entryway open for Niall to walk in. Niall lead the way to Jeff’s dining room, having been to his house several times. He sat on the couch, hoping Harry would sit next to him but watched Harry sit on the chair perpendicular instead.

“Well?” Harry prompted, eye brows raised.

Niall had never felt such coldness from Harry before. He was usually such a warm, caring, loving person and Niall’s insides did the tightening thing they’d been doing off and on for the past few weeks. “So, I just want to start with I’m sorry again. I know that I did a terrible thing for so many reasons and I just, I’m so sorry Harry. Really and truly.” Niall is looking right at Harry’s face, hoping to display as much sincerity as he feels on his own. Harry doesn’t answer right away so Niall goes on. “I know Jeff told you that I had my release date changed back. I couldn’t even sleep knowing that I did something so dirty to you.”

“So, why did you do it?” Harry whispered.

Niall had practiced this answer so many times, he should have it memorized but it just fell right out of his head. He shook it a couple times, hoping to bring it back but when it didn’t, Niall knelt in front of Harry. He wanted to take his hand but thought Harry would pull away, so with his hands on his knees he said, “I was stupid and selfish and jealous. Honestly, H, I know you’re going to be wonderful. You’re going to be incredibly successful regardless of when your record comes out. People are drawn to you and have been waiting for solo music from you for years. People haven’t been waiting for mine. People can’t even believe I’m making a solo album. They don’t think I can do it and sometimes I’m not sure that I can either.” Niall see’s Harry frown at that statement, but he doesn’t jump in to argue so Niall continues. “I’m sorry, Pet. So, so very sorry. I know that when I overheard you, I should have just owned up to it. I should have walked in and announced my presence, said I heard and let you do with it what you wanted. I never, ever should have gone to my team and asked to move my date forward. It was, it was like a reaction, like when someone punches you so you immediately want to punch back.” Niall’s eyes get big as he hears himself, “no! no! I didn’t mean it like that. You didn’t punch me and I certainly didn’t want to punch you. Never. Never you. I was just saying, it was like a reaction and it was dumb and stupid and I’m a horrible person but even so this horrible person wants you back. I miss you so much. Please, talk to me again. You don’t have to forgive me right away. If ever. I know you won’t forget. I wouldn’t forget something like-”

Niall stops mid-sentence when Harry kneels down in front of him. He still hasn't’ said a word but he’s looking at Niall with such soft, caring eyes. Niall doesn’t know if he should go on with his speech or not so he waits for a minute to see what Harry is going to do.

“Stop,” Harry says quietly.

“Stop?” Niall asks, not sure what Harry means.

“Yes, Niall, just stop. I get it. I’m not happy about it and it hurt me a whole hell of a lot but I get it, so please just, stop.” Harry isn’t touching him but his eyes are looking all over Niall’s face, as if searching for the truths in it.

Niall leans forward slightly and asks, “does this mean you’ll be my friend again?”

Harry’s eyes get sad and he just nods. “Yeah, friends.”

Niall’s brow furrows as he takes in Harry’s mood. He scoots his knees closer to Harry so they’re about a 1/2 inch from touching. “Do you want to be more than friends?” 

Harry’s bottom lip is stuck between his teeth and it doesn’t look like it’s coming out anytime soon so Niall reaches out to pull it out. Their eyes meet and Harry says, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Niall was really hoping, and honestly expecting, a different answer. His heart constricts and he nods his head, backing away. When he realizes he’s still on his knees, he slowly stands, his knees a bit sore just from his short time on them. He’s watching the ground as he says, “OK, well, I guess I should go then.” 

Niall starts walking out of the room when Harry exclaims, “wait!” with the most enthusiasm he’s showed this whole visit. Niall stops immediately and turns around. Harry moves into Niall’s space and says, “you hurt me a lot. I can’t just forget that.” Niall frowns and nods, not able to form words. “But I _do_ still love you Niall and maybe someday I’ll get over it.” 

Niall nods again and squeaks out, “I hope so,” before clearing his throat at the embarrassing sound.

“Also,” Harry adds, “I think our albums should come out the same day.”

Niall’s head shoots up at Harry’s words, “what!?”

“I mean, it makes sense. Yes, it sucks that we’ll be in direct competition but at least neither of us need to wait and neither will be over shadowed by the other. Right?”

Niall offers Harry a small smile at his generosity. “Are you sure about this? You don’t owe me anything.”

“Oh, I think you’re wrong. I have six years of friendship I owe you for especially since I’ve basically been living with you for most of them,” Harry said returning Niall’s smile.

Niall bites his lip and breathes, “you’re amazing. I love you, Harry. I really do.”

“I love you too, Ni.”


	6. Part 6: James and Ben Scheme (Tumblr Part 11)

Harry and Niall both throw themselves into their albums. Harry continues to stay with Jeff and Niall continues to wish Harry was in _his_ bed. They also continue to avoid each other much to both of their disappointments. They’re supposed to be friends but neither man knows what to do to get back to where they were before Niall’s mistake.  All of their friends are sick of listening to them complain and whine and miss each other. Harry’s been having a weekly dinner with James or Ben, tonight both of them, because Harry doesn’t want to be alone and Jeff has other obligations.

They’ve settled onto James’ patio for some after dinner drinks, enjoying the warm California air. “Harry, Love,” James coaxes, “why don’t you just call him?” 

“And say what?” Harry asks, frowning.

James sighs and says, “I don’t know. Tell him you miss him, ask him to a round of golf, or a concert. Dinner.”

“I don’t know if that’s what he wants,” Harry says, spinning his glass around in his hand, watching the liquid slosh about without spilling. 

Ben interjects, “of _course_ that’s what he wants. Don’t be dense. He’s the one who said he wanted to be more than friends with you, right? He’s going to be at least your friend.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be just friends,” Harry says softly.

Ben and James exchange a look and Ben says, “Why don’t you get on with it? Tell _him_ that?”

Harry groans and says, “you don’t get it. He went behind my back, Ben. He basically sabotaged me. I mean who _does that_ to someone they love? I just don’t know that I’m ready to start anything.”

Harry leans his chair back onto two legs and looks up at the sky, searching for stars. There aren’t many to see through the Los Angeles haze.

“Harry,” James says patiently. “You need to talk to him soon or it’s only going to get harder.”

Ben’s eyes expand as he gets an idea. “Let’s have a party!”

James looks at Ben confused while Harry narrows his eyes asking, “a party? For what?” He also wanted to know why Ben was changing the subject. He wasn’t done talking about Niall.

James excitedly jumps in with, “for the show! Like a celebration for what a great first year we had or for the different awards we’ve won! It’ll be the perfect chance for you two to chat but not have to entertain each other alone for a whole evening.”

Harry is uncomfortable at the idea of a party being planned just so he can talk to Niall. “Didn’t you just have a show party like three months ago? And you’ve been on the air for well over a year now, James,” Harry argues.

“Well, OK, I mean, sure, it’s been over a year and we _did_ have that other party but it was so formal and stuffy. This would be casual, just a house party to really let loose!”

Harry snorts, “oh, I’m sure Julie would love a nice let loose party in her house.”

James seems to think about what Harry’s said but then nods and says, “nope, she’s fine. She’s in. Thinks it’s for the best if you’ll stop moping about.”

Harry is shaking his head at James but has no comment so just finishes his drink and says, “I have to go. Please don’t plan a get back to together party for Niall and I.“

“Too late,” Ben says with a grin. “It’s already being planned. We’ll make sure Jeff clears your schedule so you can make it. You wouldn’t blow off your very own get-back-together party, would you?”

Harry doesn’t answer, just kisses each of their cheeks, walks inside, puts his empty glass on the counter in the kitchen and leaves, still shaking his head.

Harry keeps thinking about the party and what Niall would say if he knew it was being planned. _Seriously, Haz?_ the Niall in his mind says. _We need someone else to organize a get together for us to talk to each other? What happened to us?_

_You happened to us, Ni. You hurt us so much I don’t know if we’re going to get past this_ , Harry argues in his mind. Harry shakes his head, willing Niall out of it for at least a little while.

The next day Harry gets a text inviting him to the “Late Late Party” at James’ house at the end of the week. _Wow, that was fast_ , Harry thinks. He doesn’t answer the text, but knows he’ll show up. 

The night of the party, Harry stares at his clothes trying to figure out which outfit would tell Niall he wants to talk but doesn’t want it to get out of hand. Harry automatically pulls out his skinny, black jeans. He knows it would be suspicious if his wore anything else. Next, his shirt. It’s party, so he should be festive but he also wants to be hot, sexy, alluring. 

  


 

When Niall sees Harry across the room, his mouth immediately dries as he catches sight of the shirt Harry is wearing. It’s see through and Niall remembers the first time he saw Harry in it. He couldn’t stop trying to trace the tattoos through the thin material. Now Niall is wondering if he’s trying to taunt him or lure him in. Or maybe he’s trying to attract someone else. Niall starts regretting his decision to come to this party. James had called him and demanded that he attend, telling him it was very important to both Ben and himself. He never mentioned Harry but of course Niall knew Harry would be there.

Niall looks away from Harry and goes in search of a drink and anyone else to talk to that wouldn’t hurt his heart. He ends up in a deep discussion with David Beckham about James’ wine selection. “Listen, Niall, you just need to try my reserve. You’ll appreciate wine much more.”

“I don’t hate wine, really, I don’t. I just, it’s not something I automatically go for, you know? Beer is just my norm,” Niall says shrugging. Niall is drinking a Guinness because he’s fairly certain James only stocked it for him (though it was totally not necessary, Niall would drink almost anything) while David had a chardonnay that he insisted Niall try.

“He’ll drink anything,” Harry says from behind Niall’s back. 

Niall swallows and turns around saying, “he’s not wrong. Hi Harry.”

Harry nods and says, “Hi Niall,” locking their eyes for a moment before turning to David and greeting him, “David, how have you been? Victoria? The kids?”

“I think you talk to Brooklyn more than I do these days,” David says with a smile and a chuckle.

“No way, we chat _maybe_ every other week or so and it’s not really in-depth stuff, you know?” Harry shrugs.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just funny because almost every time I talk to him he says ‘Harry said this’ or ‘Harry said that’ But the rest of the family is great too. We’re enjoying the California weather like I’m sure you both are right now.” David raises his glass to both Harry and Niall. “I’m actually going to head to the loo. I’ll catch you both later, ya?”

Harry wondered if all of their friends knew the real reason for this party. He and Niall were standing next to each other kind of awkwardly until Harry turned slightly and asked, “so, how’s stuff?” using their code word for solo album.

Niall nodded and thought _great, we’re going straight to it._ “It’s good, good. Your stuff?”

Harry nods as well with a tight smile saying, “great.” 

They stood their not talking for a minute, both shuffling their feet and concentrating on their beverages until Niall confessed, “I still miss you and I don’t know how to fix us.”

Harry looked up surprised at how direct Niall was being. He hadn’t once tried to call since he apologized at Jeff’s house. Harry licked his lips and tried to figure out how honest and forward he wanted to be. Tonight was supposed to be casual. They were supposed to not talk about anything too deep, just trying to be friends again. Instead, he looked up and asked, “do you want to get out of here?”

Niall put his drink on the counter near him, took Harry’s and did the same, then entwined their fingers and led Harry out the front door without a word. Niall walked them right to his car, opened the passenger door for Harry, watched him slide in and closed it softly. Niall walked around the front of his car, playing with his keys and climbed in the driver’s seat. The stereo came on, blasting ‘Let It Go’ by James Bay and Niall rushes to turn it off. “Sorry,” he mutters but Harry doesn’t acknowledge the song or Niall’s response to it. They continue to be silent for the short drive to Niall’s house. When they get there, they both get out and walk to Niall’s door nervously. Inside, they both slip off their shoes by the front door and Niall turns around to offer Harry a drink. “What would you like? I have beer, wine, water, juice..”

Harry shakes his head and said, “nothing, thank you,” while Niall tries to figure out what they’re doing here. Harry didn’t make a move to touch him or say anything else so Niall isn’t sure if he wants to make this physical or just try to fix themselves.

After a minute or so of standing in the hallway, Niall puts his hand on Harry’s lower back to guide him to the couch in the living room. “Do you want to talk?” he asks.

“No,” Harry says quickly, shaking his head. 

Niall frowns, unsure what to do or say and not wanting to overstep, until Harry launches himself at Niall, placing his hands on Niall’s waist and immediately thrusting his tongue into Niall’s mouth. Niall gasps in surprise and at the force of Harry’s body but returns the actions, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and twisting his head to get a better angle to kiss. Niall’s breathing through his nose trying to get the kiss to last as long as possible, he just wants it to bring them back together somehow, remind them of who they are together. Niall is shoving his entire body into Harry’s, wanting to be wrapped up in his warmth. In an instant, Harry yanks himself out of Niall’s hold and Niall is left with his eyes wide, mouth open, and arms still up in the arm.

“I-, um, I just, I needed that,” Harry said bashfully.

“You don’t hear me complaining,” Niall answers, finally putting his arms down. Niall steps forward. “In fact, I’d like to keep doing it.”

Harry steps back and Niall’s eyes expand again. Harry bites his lip and says, “I think this was a bad idea. I should, um, I should call a car or something.”

“No!” Niall exclaims, practically running the three steps to Harry, trapping him by a hold on his biceps. Now Harry’s eyes have expanded and his mouth has dropped open. “I just, _we_ just need to talk. I can’t do this anymore H. I know I messed up but I thought you wanted to be friends again and we haven’t even spoken so do you really? Want to be friends, I mean?”

Harry’s eyes are darting around the room as he thinks about what he wants. He wants Niall. He desperately wants to be friends, more than friends, with Niall but he didn’t want to give in too easily. He didn’t want to be a pushover and get stomped on in their relationship. At the same time, six years of friendship told him Niall wouldn’t do that. It was a mistake. Harry should get past it. He finally lets his eyes land on Niall’s and takes a deep breath. “I want to be friends, I do Niall. I’m just scared I guess. I don’t want you to hurt me again. I think losing you is worse than losing anything else in this world.”

Niall swallows and takes another step forward so they’re almost touching from head to toe. “I’m sorry, Harry. I will keep saying it over and over again if that’s what you need and I will mean it every single time. Please, please, please god, forgive me.” 

Tears start falling down Niall’s face and Harry’s heart breaks a little more and yet, somehow, starts to mend. He leans in and softly kisses Niall. “I _do_ forgive you.”


	7. Part 7: Back to Basics (Tumblr Parts 12 & 13)

Niall and Harry made up in Niall’s bed that night. In the morning, Harry briefly considered borrowing some of Niall’s clothes to go running but knew the shorts would be too short to go out in public, so instead he got dressed in his own clothes and prepared to sneak out.  His phone was dead so he couldn’t call a car or James or Jeff to pick him up. He looked across the bed, saw Niall spread out, the blanket falling below his stomach, and then saw his phone on the nightstand. Harry quietly walked over, unlocked it, and sent a text to Jeff _hey, it’s Harry. I’m at Nialls. Can you pick me up or send someone?_ He then held onto the phone, watching Niall’s chest go up and down for a couple minutes, letting it calm his insides, until the phone buzzed in his hand. He looked at it to see _on my way_. Harry briefly considered deleting the conversation from Niall’s phone but then decided to leave it and contemplated leaving a note. He didn’t want this to seem like a shameful one night stand but it also seemed kind of cliche. Harry put the phone down and leaned over Niall, running his hands through his hair. “Niall,” he said quietly to try to rouse him awake.

“Mmmmm,” Niall groaned without opening his eyes.

“Niall, I’m going to go now,” Harry said.

Niall’s eyes shot open. “Why? Was this a one time thing then?” he asked concerned, suddenly wide awake.

“I, um, I don’t know but I need to go and we can, um, talk about it later, OK?”

Niall shot up in bed and Harry had to quickly lean out of his way to avoid a head-butt. Niall shifted over on the bed to leave room for Harry to sit. When he didn’t sit follow the wordless instruction, Niall grabbed Harry’s fore arm and pulled him down. “No. You’re not going until you tell me if I’m going to get to see you again or if this was just like a pitty fuck or something. You said you forgave me.”

Harry sighed and settled down next to Niall. “It wasn’t a pitty fuck Ni. It was an I missed you shag. I meant it when I said I forgive you but I don’t think we can just fall back into the relationship we had. I think we should go back to being friends that don’t sleep together. Only, actually be friends.” Harry couldn’t look at Niall as he spoke, afraid that seeing his face would change his mind. “I think us sleeping together just made everything more complicated.”

Niall wants to shut himself up, pull the covers over his head and disappear. He thought they were working towards going back to the _NiallandHarry_ they had become. He takes a deep breath and turns to Harry to answer him. He finds Harry’s eyes across the room on his closet, his lip tucked between his teeth and his fingers fumbling with themselves in his lap. Niall scoots closer to Harry and is granted a look from Harry’s eyes. Niall puts his head on Harry’s shoulder and said, “to be fair, we were never actually together so it shouldn’t be so hard to just be friends again, right?”

Harry nods instead of answering with words. Niall continues, “so, when do you want to get together _as friends_ again? Want to golf this week?” Niall’s hand is on Harry’s back, his thumb rubbing circles in the area he knows Harry is often sore.

Again, Harry nods. “Just tell me when,” he answers, not pulling away from Niall’s head or hand.

“Tuesday. I’ll get us a tee time if you tell me when you’re free.”

Harry tries to remember his calendar. “I think I have a meeting in the afternoon so anytime before noon.”

“OK, I’ll see how early I can get us in,” Niall said. Niall then turned his head and kissed Harry’s shoulder. “Please don’t bail on me. I need you, H.”

Harry looks at Niall’s eyes, his chin still propped up on Harry’s shoulder and said, “I need you too. I think that’s why this is so hard.”

They said their goodbyes and promised to chat more via text throughout the week. Neither was sure it would happen, but desperately wanted it to be true.

When Harry went downstairs, he found Jeff waiting out front. “Was it worth it?” Jeff asked as soon as Harry climbed in the car.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked, confused.

“Sleeping with Niall. Because you know that you’re just confusing the lines now. Do you want to be friends or boyfriends? Or nothing? What do you want with him Harry?”

Harry leaned back in his seat, buckled his seat belt, and avoided answering Jeff. The fact was he needed Niall in his life. He would love it if they could make something serious work between them but he’d settle for the easy friendship they’d developed before the kissing started. Jeff never pressured him to answer and just let Harry think about it for the duration of the drive home.

Tuesday came and, as planned, Niall and Harry met for a round of golf and lunch. They were doing a great job of pretending they just wanted to be friends, only slipping a couple of times. Harry hadn’t been golfing in about eight months so his form was off and Niall did all he could to tell Harry verbally what to do to fix it. When Harry wasn’t understanding, Niall tried to demonstrate by showing him with his own body but, like the cliche they were, that didn’t work and Niall had to put his hands on Harry to straighten him out. “Sorry, sorry,” Niall muttered trying to keep his distance while still holding Harry’s hips.

“It helps,” Harry said over his shoulder. “Don’t apologize for helping me.”

By the end of lunch, they felt much less awkward and more like the friends they were for the longest time. It was the springboard they needed to get back to who they were together.  The next day Harry sent Niall a picture of his lunch (a Caesar salad) and in response, Niall decided he needed to eat so he took a picture of the sushi he went out to get. Harry responded back with a _HA! You’ve changed Horan.. you’ve changed._

Niall shook his head knowing Harry was teasing him for his love of sushi, but he also knew it was nothing serious. It was the banter they had built between them in their years of friendship and although it warmed Niall’s heart, it also left him a little sad. It’s not that Harry wouldn’t have teased him the same way only a few months ago, but Niall would have answered differently. He would have written back something along the lines of, _arent you glad? i wasn’t sucking you off before i changed_. Instead Niall wrote _no more than you movie star_.

The texts continued almost daily, mostly random, not particularly important things being sent. Pictures of their lunch was regular. Pictures of their friends and family occasionally. Still no talk of their albums until one day Niall sent Harry a picture of himself, a picture he was considering for his album cover. He didn’t send any text with the picture and waited for a response. He’s holding a guitar, sitting on the side of a hill with the sun going down behind him. He’s staring at his guitar rather than the camera and Niall thinks it looks a little lonely, but dramatic. He thinks it’s rather fitting for this time in his life, going off to do a solo career without Harry or the other lads.

Harry responds about 10 minutes later after much debate about what to say. He’d written and re-written his response about 15 times before sending _you look hot. Is this for stuff?_

Niall can’t help the giant smile that erupts on his face. Harry said he looked hot. Directly to him. _Yes, do you think its OK?_ he texts back.

 _I think it’s more than OK Ni. Just why do you look sad? It’s your first album.. you should be showing the world your beautiful eyes and smile_ , Harry responds.

Niall isn’t sure what to say to that. He doesn’t want the world to see his beautiful eyes and smile. If Harry won’t share it with him, he doesn’t want to share it with anyone else but he knows he can’t say that. As Niall debates an answer, he receives another text from Harry. This one is a picture of him, potentially _his_ album cover. Harry has a microphone in his hand, is obviously performing for someone off camera. His eyes are closed and he’s concentrating so hard, with his second hand stuck out at an awkward Harry-Styles-singing angle. Niall can’t help but smile thinking of the number of times he’s seen that in person. _Ace_ he responds.

They go back to their regular texts after that. Niall has to go back to London while Harry remains in LA, but they don’t stop their communication. Niall is out with friends one night when he gets a text he never wanted to see. _Ni, I have to tell you something. I don’t want you to be upset but I don’t want you to hear about it on the internet either._

Niall can feel his heart in his throat. He doesn’t like where this is going but he needs to know what Harry is talking about quickly. _What?_ he texts back immediately.

 _I have a date tomorrow night_ , Harry answers. Harry has a date and Niall is sure he’s going to start crying here in the middle of this bar while his friends are all having a good time watching the game. Harry then adds, _I don’t know her. She’s one of Jeff’s clients and he just thought I needed to get out._ He doesn’t add “to get over you” but they both know it’s there. Niall just responds back _OK_ and the conversation ends.

Niall realizes all of his friends that he’s with tonight are already in a relationship, or hooking up with someone. _He_ wants to be in a relationship. He _wants_ to be with Harry. Since that can’t happen, he starts thinking about pulling a stranger. It’s been a long time since he’s slept with anyone other than Harry but it must be about time. He makes a friend that night. He takes her home. They have sex and she leaves before he wakes up, which is he eternally grateful for.  When he looks at the time, he sees it’s 6am in London, which means it’s 10pm in LA. Instead of going back to sleep, like he should, Niall calls Harry.

“Ni? Everything alright?” he asks, obviously worried at a 5am London phone call.

Niall breathes in the sound of Harry’s deep, concerned voice. “Everything’s fine, H. I just, I woke up and realized you would still be awake and I just wanted to hear your voice I guess. You busy?”

Harry sighs and seems to be walking away from background noises. “No, I’m not busy. I was just out to dinner with Cindy and Rande but we’ve wrapped up. I just need to say goodbye to them real quick and then you’ll have my full attention, OK?”

“Yeah, k,” Niall says, relieved he was actually going to get to talk to Harry.

Harry comes back a couple minutes later and says, “so, why are you awake at 6am Ni?”

“Wow, you did the math,” Niall jokes.

“You know I always try to be aware of the time difference,” Harry says seriously.

“I’m joking, H. I don’t know. I woke up and I just felt a little lonely. I missed you. I know we’ve been texting a bit but you know it just isn’t the same as real conversations.”

“That’s true,” Harry agrees. “I’ve missed you too, Ni. I really have. What have you been up to?”

Instead of answering Harry’s question, Niall asks, “can I play you a song?”

Harry’s surprised to say the least. “Of course, you can. Is it for your album? Or just something you’ve written for yourself?”

“It’s on my album. I’m leaning towards making it my first single actually. Management doesn’t much like the choice but it’s my career, so screw them, right?” Niall says laughing.

Harry smiles and says, “you know it’s their careers too, right?”

“Whatever. They have plenty of artists. They should have some faith in me.”

“I’m fairly certain they do Ni. Who doesn’t?”

“You don’t,” Niall said bluntly.

Harry is shocked. “What do you mean I don’t? I have all the faith in the world for you Niall!” he claims.

“No, you don’t. If you did, we’d be together. You wouldn’t be going on dates with strangers and pretending like you’re not in love with me.”

Harry is stunned. Niall’s right though and he can’t deny it. If he had all the faith in the world in Niall, he probably would in in London right now, snuggled up next to him in bed instead of planning a date with some model Jeff thought would be good for Harry’s image. They’re both quiet for about two minutes until Niall says very softly, “I’m sorry. That was rude. I really don’t want to hurt you Harry. I guess I’m just proving you right in wanting to stay away from me.”

Harry still doesn’t know what to say. He wants to fight back against what Niall is saying, but he just can’t think of the right words. Niall adds, “I still want to play you a song, if you’ll let me.”

Instead of words, Harry manages a manged “mmhmm” out of his throat.

Niall puts his phone on speaker and picks up the guitar he’s been keeping next to his bead. He starts off just playing a slow, sad introduction before starting the lyrics:

 _I don’t think you know_  
I don’t think you know  
How I feeeeel about you  
  
Every morning I wake up, I reach out to feel your love  
Every morning, you’re not there  
I keep thinking it’s not fair  
  
Every night I sing to you  
These words of love and faith  
Every night I dream of you  
I know that you can keep me safe  
If you only don’t let go  
  
I don’t think you know  
I don’t think you know  
How I feeeeel about you  
  
I keep hoping that  
One day you’ll realize  
One day you’ll find your strength  
And come back to my life  
  
Every day I think of you  
From the morning through the night  
You’re the thought that gets me through  
Through another sleepless night  
  
I don’t think you know  
I don’t think you know  
How I feeeel about you  
  
_I don’t think you know_  
I don’t think you know  
How I feeeel about you  


_Please darling, please darling_  
Please make it stop  
Please make it stop  
  
_I don’t think you know - Please darling_  
I don’t think you know - Please darling  
How I feeeel about you  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wrote that song.. but I don't play guitar so I can't actually record it for you. I mean, I could sing it but I think that might be past my comfort level of posting on the internet. So, hope you can piece out a melody in your head so it sounds OK!


	8. Part 8: Fluff Fluff Fluff and Happiness

Harry is in shock. He had been driving home, listening to Niall on his Bluetooth but it was too much. He had to pull over in the middle of the song and now he sat on the side of the road, barely aware of the passing cars.

Niall just told him he didn’t have faith in him and then followed it up with a very personal song that he wanted to release as a _single_? When Niall finished his song, he didn’t say a word. He waited for Harry to process everything before breaking the silence. Harry finally said, in awe, “you wrote that for me? For us?”

“Course I did, no one else in this world I feel so strongly about,” Niall assured.

“I love you, you know,” Harry said.

“I _do_ know,” Niall confirmed. “That’s why I wrote it. If I thought you didn’t love me. If I thought you _never_ loved me, maybe I could have gotten over you by now.” Niall paused and then confided, “you know almost my entire album is about you? Every part of our relationship. From our good times as friends, to the stolen moments as lovers, to the times you wrapped me up in your world and nothing else mattered, to the time I messed it all up, to now when I’m barely letting myself hope it can still work out.”

Harry asked, “so you still think we can work it out?”

“Do you think I’d be singing to you in the middle of the night if I didn’t?”

“But I just told you earlier today that I was going on a date tomorrow.”

“And I just slept with someone.”  


Harry gasped. “You did _what?!”_

Niall said calmly, “Harry, we’re not together. You can’t get mad at me for having angry, the man I love is going out with someone else sex.”

“So you slept with someone to get back at me?” Harry asks with a frown.

“No, Pet, I slept with someone because I was hurt and I needed someone to want me. I needed to feel like I wasn’t just sitting here waiting for you to come around. That’s why when I woke up I needed you. She was gone and I just realized it wasn’t worth it. I want you. I _need_ you.” Niall whispered, “please let me have you.”

“You want all of me? Like, not just the friends with benefits thing?”

“I’ve _always_ wanted all of you,” Niall says.

Harry takes a deep breath. “What about our solo careers? We’re both launching our albums in a few months and then we’re going to have to do promo, and tour, and all that comes with that. We’ll never see each other.”

“Bullshit,” Niall spits. “You know as well as I do that we can make this work. We can work with our teams to plan our promo together. We’re releasing the same day, there’s certainly no reason we can’t do our promo tours together. Yes, we’ll probably tour separately. I don’t know that we can convince them to let us go out together but still, we can do this Harry. I 100% believe we can do this,” Niall said confidently.

“When did you get so sure of us, Ni?” Harry asked, his voice weak.

“I don’t know honestly. I want to say I’ve always been sure but clearly there’s been doubt. Clearly we’ve both had reasons to be scared and I’m just sick of it. I’m not scared anymore. Actually, that’s a lie. I’m scared of losing you.”

Harry swallows and says, “you’re never going to lose me, Ni. I promise. Never.”

“So, what do you think? Should I fly back to LA? Can we make up? Can we make this something official?” Niall asks, already getting out of bed to think about what he’d need to rearrange in his schedule.

“No,” Harry says.  


Niall stops in his tracks, his mind unable to comprehend Harry’s answer. “No?” he asks, feeling his heart rate double.

“No,” Harry said again. “I’ll come to you. You’ve done enough. I, I need to do this. I need to come to you. You deserve it.”

Niall’s eyes are bright and his grin is huge as he asks, “really?” begging for confirmation.

“Yeah. Just let me book a flight and call Jeff and pack a bag, OK?”

“Yeah, yeah, OK,” Niall says a bit dumbfounded. He sat back on his bed and felt tears falling down his face. It was really going to happen. He was going to get his happily ever after.

Harry showed up the next day and they sat down to talk (after re-acquainting their mouths and bodies) about their relationship. Harry was sprawled on the couch, having a touch of jet lag, with Niall snuggled to his side, head resting on his shoulder.

“If we’re going to make this work, I need to be able to be honest with you,” Niall said.

Harry looked up frowning, “of course you should be honest with me.”

“I mean about everything Harry. I want to be able to talk to you about my album. I know we talked about this months ago but this is really important to me. I need your approval. I need to be able to bounce ideas off you. There’s no one I trust more and it has sucked trying to do this without you.”

Harry’s hand is rubbing Niall’s back, scratching absentmindedly. “Yeah, OK. I want to be honest too and it has absolutely sucked not being able to share with you. I have so many stories to tell you. Songs to play for you.”

Niall smiles and pecks his boyfriend’s cheek. “I want to hear them all. You should start now.” He snuggles himself further into Harry, making sure his hand was around his waist. He wanted to be as close as possible.

“You want me to start playing songs now or you want me to tell stories? Because it doesn’t feel like you want me to move anywhere,” Harry says with a chuckle.

Niall groaned and rubbed his head on Harry’s shoulder, “no, you can’t move. Either tell me stories or play me songs from your phone. It’s still in your pocket, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry said smiling. “I love you, Niall,” he said pushing his nose into Niall’s forehead.

“I love you too, Pet,” Niall said, settling in and feeling himself drift off into sleep. He wanted to hear Harry’s stories but they could wait. He hadn’t slept much the day/night before Harry arrived and now that Harry was here, he was finally relaxed and happy. “So much,” he breathed.

Niall woke up to a guitar melody and a sexy, raspy singing voice coming from his boyfriend sitting on the coffee table behind him. At first, he realized Harry wasn’t under him anymore and frowned, then looked up to see his gorgeous man singing to him. Niall couldn’t help the soft smile on his face. Niall was a little groggy so he didn’t catch all of the words, but he heard the words _love you forever_ and _never giving up on us_ in Harry’s song, creating a warm feeling in his whole body. They were going to make it. There would be hard times, but Niall believed in Harry and in them. He looked up to see Harry gazing at him lovingly. When Harry’s song was over, he climbed back onto the couch and pulled Niall to his side. 

“Good morning beautiful,” Harry said, wrapping his arms around Niall’s body.

“Good morning gorgeous,” Niall said back, pulling himself in even closer. “I like your song. A lot.”

“You’re not the only one who wrote an entire album about the one they love,” Harry said into Niall’s hair.

“Yeah?” Niall looked up. He chews on his lip a little and then asks, “can I listen to your album? I mean, you don’t have to share it with me. I know we -”

Harry cut Niall off with a strong kiss. Niall smiled as Harry pulled away and said, “yes, you can listen to my album. Anytime you want. Like I said last night, I’ll even tell you the story behind each one.”

Harry pulled out his phone and started playing songs from his album. The order hadn’t been determined yet, but he was pretty set on the actual songs that would be picked. He was still fighting management a little but he could be very persuasive when he wanted. Four of the songs were titles Niall had heard before. He’d even heard clips of a couple of them since Harry had written them towards the end of their _Made in the AM_ promo.

 _5378_ -  Harry explained, “the number of miles from my studio in California to your house. I guess it’s sort of another version of _If I Could Fly_.”  Harry tells Niall that they’re far apart in physical distance but their hearts will always be together. Niall got a little teary-eyed during this one so Harry decided to play an uptempo song next.

 _All the Craic -_ “I don’t think I’ll give an explanation for this one,” Harry said laughing to himself. This song was about having a good time with your friends, living for the moment and Niall laughed out loud as soon as he heard the chorus, realizing his influence on it:  
  
_All the Craic, all the craic my friends_  
_It’s all that matters in the end_  
_Talk, talk, talk, sing, sing, sing_  
_Magic in the making_  
_Like I said, all the craic my friends_  


_Already Home -_ “This one is all for you Babe,” Harry said starting the super sappy, love song where Harry confesses that where ever his love (Niall) is, he’s at home. He doesn’t need to be where his schools were, or where he had his first job, the only thing that matters is where his heart lives.

At the end, Niall sat up and straddled Harry’s lap. He picked up his phone and turned off the album, wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and offered up his heart in the way of a kiss. They sat on the couch and just loved each other while the world continued to spin around them.

In the next couple of days they both listened to each others entire albums. They offered no critique, as the songs meant so much to them and they’d already picked the ones they wanted on the final products. They only praised each other and offered bribes to be the first ones to have hard copies. “I will turn off my phone, lock the door, and let no one in for a full week,” Harry said in his attempt at getting Niall’s album.

Niall teased, “it would take me giving you my months of hard work for you to turn off your phone for a week Styles?”

Harry bit his lip and said, “well, no. I mean, if you really want me to turn off my phone, I can. It’s just, you know, we’re both trying to get the final touches done and my label is in the US so I can’t just show up in the office when I need to make decisions.”  


Harry was going to continue rambling if Niall didn’t stop him so he wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck from behind and said, “do it.”

Harry stopped his ramble and looked back at Niall, shocked that he’d really ask him to turn off his phone at such an important time in the album producing process. The songs were done, the cover picked, they were just wrapping up the final details like the order, and the dedications, and the first single. Harry turned around and looked at Niall’s smug face and decided Niall wouldn’t actually let him do this. So Harry took his phone out of his pocket, held it between them and turned it of triumphantly. “There,” he said. “Done,” with a shrug.

“Wow, you did that for me?” Niall teased. He knew Harry knew he wouldn’t force him to keep it off for long, but they deserved at least a little time with no interruptions. “What else will you do for me?” Niall asked seductively.

“What else do you _want_ me to do?” Harry asked pulling Niall against his body, leaning his head down to stare into Niall’s eyes.

Niall seemed to be thinking about his wishes, tapping his chin with his pointer finger and finally said, “I want you to strip.”

Harry chuckled and said, “that it? How original.” He pulled his arms back from around Niall and started pulling his shirt over his head. In about 90 seconds, he was naked in Niall’s living room.

Niall stared appreciatively up and down at his boyfriend’s body before saying, “Nope, not done. I would like lunch please. Something fancy. But not too fancy to eat.”

Harry raised his eye brow. “You got me naked _before_ asking me to cook?”

Niall shrugged. “I didn’t think of it before. My first thought is _always_ to get you naked. Second thought, food. Please.” Niall smiled trying to look angelic. Harry just shook his head and went to the kitchen.

A little while later Niall was enjoying his grilled cheese sandwich and canned tomato soup but complaining, “this isn’t very fancy.”

“Then I guess you should go shopping,” Harry said snarkily in reply, eating his own sandwich, still naked at the dining room table.

After Niall finished his food rather quickly, he moved to Harry’s side of the table, pulling his arm out so he could take a seat on one of his legs. “I’ll go shopping tomorrow. Whatever you want, I’ll get.”  


Harry wiped his mouth of the tomato soup mustache he’d given himself slurping the bowl and asked, “does that mean you’ll do anything _I_ want tomorrow?”

Niall shook his head, “no. But it means I love you and I’ll do _almost_ anything to make you happy.”

“Almost, huh?”  


“Yep. I’m not shaving my head or even getting it cut as much as you did. I’m not letting you leave me anytime soon. I’m not letting you shag anyone else ever, like for the rest of your life.”  


Harry laughs at Niall’s restrictions and says, “it’s a good thing we agree about all of those things. I don’t want them either.”

“Well, then I guess you’re just even more perfect for me, huh?” Niall says, stuffing the rest of Harry’s grilled cheese in his mouth before Harry even realized he’d eyed it.

“Wow, you’re lucky I love you,” Harry said running his hands down Niall’s side for a moment until he realizes he has Niall in the perfect spot and starts tickling him.

“Noooooo, I’m just kidding.” Niall is trying to wiggle away but Harry’s too strong and holds him firmly on his lap while continuing to tickle his sides. “I’ll make you a sandwich! You can have my album! The first copy! ANYthing! Just stoooooop!”

Harry stops immediately. “Thanks. When am I getting that copy?” he asks seriously.

“UGH!” Niall groans, realizing he’d given in too easily. “Now you owe me sex. You tricked me into caving way too early.”

Harry mimics Niall’s sound of “UGH!” and adds a, “ _fine_ , I guess we have to have sex then.” He then picks Niall up bridal style (which he says he hates, but actually kind of loves) and brings him to the bedroom to fulfill his obligation.  



	9. Part 9: Time to Work on the Solo Stuff

“I know you can make it happen,” Niall says into his phone. “It doesn’t matter _why_ I want to do my promo tour with Harry Styles. It just matters that you make it happen. I’ll tour all over the freakin’ world to do promo if you want. Just talk to Jeff and make sure we line up so we can fly together. Yes, I want our flights booked together. No, that’s not ridiculous. You’re smart. You can make it happen.”

Meanwhile, Harry is sitting on the couch, listening to and laughing at Niall’s chat with his management. Harry had already given Jeff a heads up but it wasn’t as involved of a conversation. Since Jeff knew _why_ they wanted to travel together, he didn’t bother to argue.

Harry was able to do the rest of the work on his album from London. Niall and he had shared their full albums and even helped to pick each others singles. They were getting ready to do their promo tour in less than a month and they were very excited, but also a little scared. They’d been living in their own little cocoon, only occasionally leaving the house for meetings and social outings. They spent most of their time developing their new relationship, learning what was OK and appropriate in this new world they lived in together. Niall learned that he could tease Harry about a lot of things he used to but anything relating to his body was off limits as his boyfriend. Apparently Harry was more self-conscious than Niall ever realized. As much as Niall loved Harry’s love-handles, he held off mentioning them or fondling them for too long. 

Harry learned that Niall really did want to spend a lot of time with him but he absolutely needed his alone time each and every day. When Niall left Harry to go to another room, he wasn’t abandoning him or trying to start a fight, he just needed some peace and quiet to himself. When he came back, he was his same wonderful boyfriend, often times more relaxed and lovable than he was before. They felt more secure in their relationship with all of these learnings but scared that outside forces would make it harder to keep their ship sailing so smoothly.

Their promo tour was set to start in the US visiting LA and NY, then head back to the UK to hit their home, and then wind around the world going to Germany, Italy, Japan, Australia, and Brazil to name a few. The weren’t spending much time in each country but they wanted to make sure they were at least hitting the major places that One Direction had done well as a band. Since they were traveling together, they managed to get some back-to-back interviews and press conferences. Their labels didn’t love how much they were doing to support each other but neither man was backing down so they relented.

“Harry, Pet,” Niall said calmly. “You need to pack more clothes. You can’t take one single carry-on around the world.”

Harry looked up from his phone to stare at Niall confused. He had finished packing his bag, _that he always traveled with_ , and had settled down to relax and wait for Niall to finish. “What are you talking about? Of course I can.”

“Is your stylist packing clothes for your interviews?” Niall asked patiently.

Harry thought about that question and quickly called someone on his phone. “Do we have a stylist bringing clothes for my interviews and performances?” Harry asked, without greeting the person on the other end. He’d been doing this quite a bit, picking up his phone and frantically calling someone to ask them a question so it was almost like one long conversation instead of several smaller ones. No need to say hello and goodbye with that frequent of calls Harry rationalized. Harry nodded to the phone and said, “OK, thank you,” and hung up. “Yes, they’re packing clothes for the interviews, the performances, and they said the major press conferences too so I’m sorted. I could actually take _out_ some clothes,” Harry said with a wink at Niall.

Niall groaned. He was really hoping for some support on this issue. “Harry, don’t you want to have different clothes to wear when we go out?” Niall went to Harry’s bag and started poking around. He held up Harry’s favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt and said, “this, darling. You don’t need to wear this in public anymore. You can wear it around the house, with me, but you shouldn’t be seen in this by people with cameras.”

Harry frowned and pouted, “but it’s my favorite.”

Niall put the shirt down on top of his own luggage and got on the bed next to Harry. “I know it is and it’s lovely. Really. But you’re a grown man Harold. You need to dress like it right now.”

Harry laughed out loud all of sudden causing Niall to scowl. “What?” he asked.

In between laughs Harry says, “you! Telling _me_ to dress like an adult! How many years did it take for me to get you to wear button up shirts? Or to get you out of those high tops?” Harry is now doubled over in laughter and Niall can’t help but crack a smile, looking away from Harry so he can’t see it.

“Yeah, well,” Niall says, trying to maintain a straight face. “Apparently the teacher needs to re-learn his lesson.”

Harry slows his laughter and looks up at Niall from where he’s still bent over himself on the bed. “You’re beautiful,” he says seriously with a fond smile. Niall’s eyes expand.

“What!?” Niall asks confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Harry’s smile expands as he says, “I love it when you find me hilarious and yet try to hide it. You get this little twinkle in your eye and it’s just beautiful.”

Niall’s mouth drops open and he says, “no, I wasn’t, I mean, you were laughing, how could I _not_ smile? You were _not_ hilarious Harry Styles and I just won’t let you think you are!” Niall is trying to be serious but by the end of his statement bursts out laughing. “FINE!” he yells, giving in. “You’re the funniest person on the planet. Happy?” Niall gets up from the bed to continue his packing.

Harry answers with a sigh, “immensely but you can unpack my _favorite_ shirt Niall if you really think I shouldn’t bring it.”

Niall looks up from his suitcase to see Harry’s sad puppy dog eyes on him. _Shit_ , he thinks. He bites his lip and focuses on his own clothes, making sure he has both casual clothes to sight-see or hang out in and nice dress up clothes. He hopes that he can take Harry out for some nice meals in some of the less camera-crazy places. He makes the mistake of looking up to ask Harry a question and sees Harry is still pouting. “UGH! _Fine_. You win again Styles. You can take your stupid holey shirt if you’ll stop looking at me like that. Just please, please don’t wear it in public. Can you do that for me?”

Harry’s smile lights up the room and he bounces out of bed to pack the shirt away. He leans in and kisses Niall’s cheek saying, “yes, Love, I can do that.”

**********************************************

When Harry and Niall land in New York, they’re both exhausted. They had spent most of the night before going through Niall’s “world tour checklist” to make sure they had everything they would need. Harry kept emphasizing that all they really needed were their passports and everything else would sort itself out but Niall was insistent they not have to go out to purchase anything they could pack. That meant ensuring they had bathing suits and medicine, translator apps on their phones for the different languages in every country they were visiting, as well as umbrellas and way too many socks. With each new item Niall wanted to pack, Harry reminded Niall of the team they were traveling with and the credit cards they carried that they could use to buy these items if needed but Niall could not be persuaded. Since Harry argued so much, it took even longer to get everything sorted. Harry ended up bringing another piece of luggage other than his carry-on, just to hold the additional items.

As they got off the plane with their teams, they were escorted to private hallways so Harry felt safe enough to hold Niall’s hand. He also carried one of Niall’s bags on top of his two own just because the circles under Niall’s eyes looked heavy enough for him to carry. When they got to customs they were in the public eye, so Harry reluctantly dropped Niall’s hand, much to his displeasure. Niall grunted and pushed his shoulder against Harry’s instead of using words. Harry leaned in and said, “just a little longer Love. We’ll be at the hotel soon and I’ll hold you for a nap if you want.” Niall gave a sleepy smile in response.

Harry was true to his word and as soon as they were in their shared hotel room, he pulled Niall’s bag off his shoulder, tossed it onto the floor and pushed Niall toward the bed. He went willingly, climbing up the end and crawling to the top before collapsing. Harry worked on removing his own clothes before he attempted to undress his sleeping boyfriend. It didn’t take long before they were both sound asleep and wrapped together.

When Niall woke up, he automatically started wiping his face on his pillow. It took him a minute to realize he was trying to brush Harry’s hair off his forehead and he was using Harry’s shoulder to do it, not a pillow. He smiled at his still sleeping boyfriend, disentangled himself from Harry and the sheets and started to get them settled. He put their toiletries in the bathroom and hung up the clothes they’d have to wear for the next couple of days. They were going to be in New York for three days for their promotion. Niall would be doing Good Morning America (GMA) the next morning while Harry went to the daytime talk shows. At night they had different late night shows. The next day Harry would do GMA and they would both do some more night time talk shows. The third day, Niall would do the day time shows and Harry would another the late night show. Their team had worked out their schedule very well. Niall and Harry couldn’t have been happier.  They were both performing their new singles for the first time on GMA so Niall had won the “first reveal” but Harry got the bigger nighttime shows so they figure that it balanced out.

On GMA, Niall did an interview first before performing his first single, _Love is Enough_. They asked him the normal questions about his album and time off first and then asked, “do you find it weird that you’re releasing your album the same day as Harry Styles, your former band mate?”

Niall knew this question would come so he gave his prepared answer, “first of all, he’s not my former band mate. We’re still in One Direction and we’ll get back together in the future. As for releasing the same day, we didn’t want one to come out first and have a bit of an edge so we talked about it and decided to fight for the title of number one 1D member on the same day!” Niall was joking with that last bit and it was _not_ what his media team had prepared for him. He didn’t like stiff, boring answers so he always tried to joke a bit in his interviews. Unfortunately, one of Harry’s interviewers had heard the question and answer and asked Harry, “so I hear Niall is fighting with you to be the best person in One Direction. Do you think you’ll come out on top? I, personally, think you’ll wipe the floor with him!”

Harry was a little surprised by the question. He fully expected the press to compare them and make them seem like they were battling but that didn’t sound like something Niall would say in an interview, definitely something he’d say in private. Harry answered the question, trying to sound like he was joking as well, “of course I’m going to wipe the floor with him!” He laughed and then said, “no, but really, I am very happy for Niall and he has a great album. I want him to succeed just as much as I want my album to do well. He deserves praise for a great album. I highly recommend it.”

That night Niall was doing a late night talk show and he was shown a clip of Harry’s statement “of course I’m going to wipe the floor with him!” without the context of the question included. Niall didn’t know how to react. He laughed it off out loud but his cheeks were flushed and he was feeling uncomfortable. “That Harry,” Niall said. “He’s always joking. Really, he’s got no chance! I’ve got this in the bag,” Niall said. When the interview was over, Niall rushed backstage and pulled his cell phone out to see no calls or texts from Harry. He wanted to call him immediately but knew he shouldn’t make such a personal call while still in a public place.

When Niall got back to their hotel room, he found Harry sitting in a sparsely lit room drinking what looked like whiskey on the rocks. "Harry?" Niall asked timidly. "You OK, Pet?" he asked.

"I'm not going to assume anything," Harry said, "so can you just tell me if you really said you'd wipe the floor with me?"

Niall sighed, walked the rest of the way into the room, threw his jacket over the chair and moved to stand in front of Harry. Harry was swishing the ice around in his glass, not looking up at Niall so Niall put two fingers under his chin and lifted his face so they could look into each others eyes. "Pet, yes, I said that. As a joke. Why didn't you look the interview up if you were questioning it?"

Harry is staring into Niall's eyes, trying to see into his heart. "I didn't know what interview and honestly, I didn't want to see it," he said.

Niall pushed Harry back, took his drink from his hand and straddled one of his legs. "My interviewer told me that you said the same thing. I was mad in the moment but I know you wouldn't ever say something like that and mean it. Not really." Niall wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and said, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I said a lot of nice things too. I'll bet those weren't told to you, were they?" Harry shook his head so Niall added, "I love you, Harry. You have an amazing album and I hope it does amazingly well."

 


	10. Part 10: Romantic Night Out (Tumblr Part 18)

The promotional tour continued for the next two weeks and they were only a week away from their album release date. Although the press continued to pit them against each other, Niall and Harry only said good things about the others album, not risking anymore questionable statements.They were now in Australia, taking a day, and night, off for themselves.  They went out to dinner at a secluded, private restaurant, something they had only been able to do a couple of times so far on this tour. 

“What are you going to get?” Harry asked Niall, perusing the seafood-heavy menu.

“The trout sounds good, you?” Niall answered and asked without looking up.

“Maybe the salmon or the prawns,” Harry thought aloud. 

Once they decided on their food and drinks, they leaned over the table to talk to each other without being overheard. Harry risked holding Niall’s hand subtly in the middle of the table and Niall didn’t object. “I’m glad you were able to get your team to work our schedules out together,” Harry said.

“Jeff did just as much to keep us together,” Niall said. “I’m actually a little surprised. I kind of thought he hated me.”

Harry’s eyebrows rose at Niall’s admission. “Really? Why would you think that? Jeff loves you!”

Niall blushed a little thinking of his past behavior. “After, you know, the date thing. And then when I tried to apologize to you he kept saying I had to do it myself that he wouldn’t help. I mean, he did, he told you what I said but, you know,” Niall shrugged. “And then when he set you up with that model person. I just thought he wanted you to be with someone else.”

Harry offered Niall a small smile. “He’s just protective over me and let’s face it, would an apology through Jeff _really_ have meant as much?” Harry leaned forward over the table more so he could be in Niall’s face. Niall just smiled back at Harry, wanting to kiss him but knowing they were tempting fate enough just holding hands and sitting so close.

“I guess not,” Niall answered with a shake of his head.

“As for the date, he was just sick of me,” Harry said, leaning back in his chair. His hand was still holding Niall’s loosely while he added, “I was a right twat. Jeff was just hoping to distract me from you when he set me up with Lydia.”

“I’m glad you didn’t go out with her,” Niall declares.

“I’m glad you called me. And sang to me,” Harry said sweetly.

What Niall and Harry didn’t know was their interactions, although not heard, were being recorded by a fan at a table across the restaurant. The hand holding, the leaning in and the secret smiles were not going to be so secret anymore.

They continued to enjoy their dinner, no idea that the video was being posted online as they sat there. A few pictures were also taken, showing Harry’s smiling face, enjoying the prawns he'd decided to make his entree. The dessert they shared, a chocolate lava cake with vanilla bean ice cream ended up on Harry’s lip and Niall reached out to thumb it off, all caught on camera.

After dinner they managed to escape the restaurant without any other fans or paparazzi seeing them. They got back to their hotel and settled in for the night. “Harry,” Niall groaned. 

“Yes, Love?” Harry walked to Niall who was sprawled out on the bed and ran his fingers through the hair on his forehead lovingly.

“I’m so full. I’m going to burst,” Niall said with another groan.

Harry chuckled at his boyfriend. “I guess you should have stopped before that third beer then. I knew you weren’t going to pass up the lava cake!”

“But it was so good Harry! You can’t expect me to pass up good Australian beer!”

“We’re in Australia for two more days, Love. You _absolutely_ could have passed it up tonight,” Harry argued.

“Nooooooo, we’re going to be working for the last two days. I can’t drink during an interview. I’ll wind up announcing to the world how much I love it when you fuck me!” Niall exclaimed.

Harry is laughing harder now. He climbs onto the bed, shoving Niall over so he can rest his belly too. “I can think of worst things,” Harry says with a yawn.

Before the yawn is done, Harry’s phone is ringing. Harry stares at it for a minute and debates whether he really needs to answer it. It’s 10:30pm and they have to get up at 7am the next day. By all accounts, he should be getting ready for bed and no one should be disturbing him. He glances at the screen and sees that it’s Jeff and figures he can shut him down quickly so he answers, “‘lo?”

“Harry, are you sitting down?”

Harry starts to get nervous and says, “yeeees, what’s wrong Jeff?” His agent and friend sometimes exaggerates so Harry tries not to worry.

“Is Niall with you?” Jeff asks.

“Yes, tell me now what’s happening.” At the rising concern in Harry’s voice, Niall sits up to put his arm around his shoulders.

Jeff requests, “put me on speaker.”

“Done,” Harry says, putting the phone on his leg between himself and Niall.

“Your romantic dinner tonight was caught by a fan’s phone,” Jeff said dramatically.

Harry and Niall’s eyes both expand and they each suck in a big breath. After a moment, Niall says, “OK. How obvious is it?”

“I’ll email it to you, Harry. Take a look and call me back.”

Harry quickly opens his email and finds a number of pictures. He looks cheesily happy but the pictures are taken from behind Niall so it’s not actually clear that it’s him. They scroll through the rest of the pictures to find the single posted video. In it the mystery man with Harry thumbs chocolate sauce from his lip and sucks it into their own mouth. 

Harry starts chewing his own lip and asks Niall, “do you think it’s obvious that it’s you?”

Niall raises his eyebrow at Harry and says, “yes. It’s clearly me, Harry. I mean, it’s true you can’t see my face but I imagine the fan that posted it said it was me.” Niall pulled out his own phone to scroll through social media. Amazingly, the fan didn’t realize it was Niall or if she did, didn’t announce it to the world. She just captioned the footage “Harry Styles getting romantic in Australia.”

Niall chewed his lip and they called Jeff back. They decided since Niall wasn’t named, they wouldn’t comment. They both had interviews the following day so they knew it was going to come up and came up with appropriate responses.  When Niall was asked if he knows who Harry was with, Niall plans to tell them, “I’m sure Harry enjoyed himself with whoever his companion was and I don’t plan to comment anymore on Harry’s love life.” When Harry is asked if he’s seeing someone, if so, who? and if he’s gay, Harry’s response will be, “I am seeing someone. I would prefer to keep the details of the relationship private at this time. I believe love is love.”

They managed to get through their press conferences the following day with those answers but they didn’t take any chances, taking separate transportation to and from the venues. They also didn’t have lunch together and only sent text conversations to stay in contact instead of calling.

When Niall walked back into his hotel room that night, he was expecting Harry to be waiting for him. His conference had started earlier and should have ended first but Niall walked into an empty room. After about 15 minutes of waiting, Niall sent a text asking _where are you?_

Harry didn’t answer. Instead he showed up in the room 20 minutes later, his arms full of Australian beer and food. He closed the hotel room door, dropped the food on the bed in front of Niall and said, “I hated today,” with a pout.

Niall had to fight his smile at his boyfriend’s sulky look. He kneed up on the bed and leaned into Harry. “It’s OK, Pet. You’re home now. We’ll forget about it all together, alright?” Niall kissed just below Harry’s ear and made his way down his neck, trying to relax Harry the best way he knew. After a few minutes of kisses all over his open skin, Harry finally let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” Harry said, finally wrapping his arms around Niall. “I missed you today. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we’re on tour apart for months.” 

Harry put his head down on Niall’s shoulder and they just stood/knelt there for several minutes until Niall finally pulled back and asked, “what did you bring me?” referring to the food and drink Harry had dropped on the bed next to him.

“Beer, chocolate, and burgers,” Harry said, not moving his head from Niall. Niall kissed Harry’s neck one more time and then pulled away slowly to dig into the food and drink.

“Come on, Pet,” Niall said. “Get naked and get in bed. We’ll enjoy this wonderful Australian fare together and then cuddle up for a bit, right?”

“You always want me naked,” Harry said with a small smile.

“Uh, yeah, I thought I made that pretty clear,” Niall said with a smirk. Harry stripped down to his underwear, climbed into bed and they enjoyed their quiet time together, waiting to see what tomorrow would bring.


	11. Last one!

Niall and Harry kept their distance in public for awhile but apparently they weren’t doing a very good job. The day before their albums are released, Harry was asked in his interview, “is it true that Niall Horan and you are doing your whole press tour together?”

Harry answered, “well, you know, we’re used to doing press together. I’ve only done it with One Direction before so it just makes sense to do something I’m comfortable with since so much of this is new. I’m not used to standing on a stage by myself or doing interviews on my own, so if I can have my best friend available to hang out with after, I’m going to take that opportunity. We’re just lucky that our albums came out at the same time so we _can_ travel together.”

“There’s been some rumors that you and Niall have gotten even closer since the band’s hiatus. What do you say about that?”

“I would say that is absolutely true. We were very close in the band, all five of us. We had a lot of firsts together and it brought us closer. Now Niall and I are having some _other_ firsts together so again, it’s bringing us even closer together. I’m a lucky man to have someone so amazing in my life,” Harry answers, earning coos from the people around the TV set including Niall.

[[MORE]]

Niall happened to have this morning off and decided to accompany Harry to this interview. They thought about Niall staying at the hotel but he really hated being cooped up so he figured he’d take the chance for the first time since their dinner and be seen in public together. Once Harry’s interview was over, Niall rushed to Harry’s private dressing room to wait for him. As Harry walked in the door, Niall pushed it closed behind him and jumped onto his front like a koala bear. “You’re just the sweetest thing aren’t you?” Niall gushed.

Harry’s smile was huge as he hoisted Niall up higher on his waist. “Am I?” he teased.

“You are. I’m a lucky guy, Harry Styles. Very lucky indeed.” Niall leaned in to offer Harry a sweet kiss on the lips. “Now, do _you_ want to get lucky?” Niall asks raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Harry squeezes Niall’s butt and says, “I would _love_ to but maybe not here? How about we head back to the hotel so we can get some privacy? We’re done for the day…” Harry trails off.

Niall sighs and pushes his groin into Harry’s stomach. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait, Styles.”

Harry groans, pulls Niall closer and said, “anticipation only makes it better, right?”

“Lies,” Niall spits out. He reluctantly climbs down from Harry and tries to adjust himself so his hard-on is less noticeable. “Let’s go then. You don’t need to change. I’m just going to take those clothes off of you when we get there anyway.”

Harry agrees and they rush out the backdoor to their car.  Harry resists Niall’s roaming hands, trying to focus on answering his work emails on the drive back to the hotel. Niall gives up after Harry ignores his advances and instead asks, “would the blue shirt be better for tomorrow’s performance or the floral?” Niall glares at Harry, crosses his arms and refuses to answer. He’ll tell him the blue shirt the next day after he’s had an orgasm or two.

When they reach the hotel, Harry is pulled aside by one of his media managers, Tony. “Harry, can we chat for a couple minutes?” he asks. “Niall, you’re welcome to join us, I just want to touch base on a couple things before tomorrow’s interview. It’s a big one and your album is coming out so I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” Niall wants to punch the man in the mouth, but stays by Harry’s side as they discuss business in the restaurant bar far away from the other patrons.   


Niall orders himself a couple of drinks and drowns out the boring conversation. Since he’d worked it out with Harry months earlier, they knew almost everything about each others careers and Niall didn’t feel like he needed to know anything else at this point. Tony walked away and Niall looked up at Harry to ask, “can we go now?” but Harry just shook his head.

“Tony just went to the loo. He’ll be right back.”

“I thought he said just a couple minutes,” Niall pouted. He was quickly losing his erection and he didn’t want to have to start from scratch.

Harry saw Niall’s pout and leaned in to wipe it away with a quick kiss. “It will be quick, Love. Then I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” Harry and Tony finished their conversation over the next 10 minutes and Niall dragged Harry upstairs to their room so he could have his way with him.

The next day their albums were released and Niall woke up very excited. He rolled over and picked up his phone before his eyes were even all the way open. He expected to see his fans talking about how great the album was and what their favorite tracks were but instead he found a picture of Harry kissing him from the night before. He kept scrolling through Twitter and seeing the picture over and over and over again. There was no mistaking it was Harry and Niall. Kissing. _How did the photographer even manage to get the kiss considering it was so quick?_ Niall wondered.   


Niall put his phone down in his lap and looked at Harry still fast asleep next to him. He was surprised they hadn’t received any phone calls about the picture yet. Their teams must be slacking or they’re being generous because of how hard they’d been working. Today was supposed to be their big day. They were going to share their original music for the world. Instead, the world is getting more than their music. They were getting their relationship on a silver platter. Surprisingly, Niall wasn’t panicked. He was shocked and his mind was questioning what this meant for each of them separately as a couple but he wasn’t panicked.

Niall _was_ however getting antsy waiting for Harry to wake up. Niall ordered room service breakfast and brought coffee to Harry’s side, running the cup under his nose, hoping to entice him up. It worked and Harry stirred with a “mmmm” for the smell. When Harry opened his eyes, Niall smiled fondly at him and said, “I think you should drink some of this and wake up, Pet. It’s a big day!”

Harry sat up and groggily drank the offered cup of coffee. Halfway through the cup, he was waking up and asked, “so have you been on social media yet? Or gotten messages from your team? How’s it going?”

Niall had forgotten their album had come out, he was so focused on the picture of them. “Yes, I was on social media. I haven’t heard from our teams yet and I don’t really know why but there’s something else you need to see.”

Niall opened Twitter on his phone again and showed Harry the picture of their sweet kiss. Harry made a humming noise in his throat and then looked up at Niall, expectantly. “What do you think?”

Niall shrugged and said, “I think it’s good.”

Harry nodded and said, “yeah, me too. I hate hiding.”

Niall shuffled closer to his boyfriend and said, “so maybe we make our own announcement?”

Harry frowned at that. He didn’t care for announcements. Niall said, “I’m thinking an Instagram photo of me kissing you or something. Or if you don’t want a kissing pic, snuggling up close or something. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Harry smiled at Niall’s apparent nervousness and said, “I think a kissing pic would be just fine. I mean, they already have one. What’s one more?”

Niall prepared his camera, leaned in and kissed Harry sweetly on the cheek. “That’s it?” Harry asked frowning. “They already have a sweet pic. I thought you wanted to declare that we’re together. We’ve already kissed on the cheek,” Harry said with a smirk.

“So, what you want my tongue in your mouth then?” Niall asks.

“Yep. Lots and lots of tongue,” Harry said devilishly, his eye brows moving up and down.

Niall climbed into Harry’s lap, put his right hand on Harry’s collarbone and leaned in to offer the kiss of their lives while capturing it with his phone in his left hand. Harry’s hand was wrapped around his neck and when they looked at the photo, Niall suddenly wanted more than a kiss. Niall quickly posted it and leaned back into Harry for more.  


“So, that’s that,” Harry said. “How long before-” Harry is cut off by his phone ringing followed seconds later by Niall’s. “I guess it’s time to face the presses boyfriend.”

“Think we can do this next interview together boyfriend?” Niall asks.

“I won’t object. Hell, we should do the rest of them together. For the rest of our lives,” Harry says leaning in and kissing Niall one more time before they both had to answer their phones.

Their day was crazy. Between the Twitter frenzy about their pictures and their new albums, the interviews with journalists who wanted to know more about their love lives than their music, and their management who couldn’t stop yelling at them, Niall and Harry were exhausted at the end of their day. They climbed into bed together and Harry sent one final tweet: _Thank you all for your kind words about our music and relationship. I really love this man and all of you. All the Love xx  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kind words and kudos! This is only my second full story so your feedback has really helped drive me forward! I don't have another story planned but I have lots of drabbles on my tumblr if you need more Narry in your life!


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